Dancing In The Rain

Monday, April 27, 2009

HOW?? I'm dam fucking confuse la. I wanna look for job. Found a few.

1st- Sales Assistant in a clothes boutique in SS 15. Went interview 2day n dei say will call me some time soon. Is full time, 6 days a week from 11am-9pm. Salary dunno cuz i put expected 1500-1700. I can online during work and get 2 clothes when there are new arrivals AND staff %!! But then 2 travel there daily is a nightmare la.

2nd- Shooter girl in Coco Banana or clubs in Sunway or KL. Transportation provide to and back (1st one no transport at all). Part time work 3 days a week, Full time work 6 days a week from 10pm-3am (only 5 hrs!). But pay dam fucking good lo. It's basic is RM120 (or 140 forgot d) per day and + comm. Down side is (or shld i say upside??), i maybe have to drink also cuz you know la, some ppl always aso force other ppl 2 drink n all. And i dont know how shld i tell my parents. I mean i cant just go "I'm gonna work in a club. Coming home at 3am.Dont wait up." right?? Actually, i probably could la. Hahaha
And he wants me 2 start dis fri. Cuz it's Labour Day! Loads of ppl.

Actually got some more but is all part time n i lz wanna explain here. If i take the 2nd job, i can do other part time job which i might have kinda agreed 2 do already =)
And the 1st job i can only do that. Sales Assistant. And it sounds boring. And my parents wld love it if i work there.

Ah, nevermind la. I've decided d (after talking with Selyna lol). I shld try 2 shooter girl job. Cuz it sounds fun and i like fun (who doesn't like fun shld never stand in front of me cz i might do horrible horrible things). And who gives a fuck if my parents care or not. I get my own $$ without asking anything from them. And i can try out other part time jobs which earns more than d 1st job. =)

I know, i know. I have 2 take care of myself ma. I will so dont worry your pretty lil head off. I got experience in handling guys who can't keep their hands to themselves. Haha. And i will watch how much i drink and make sure i reach home safely everynight =)

Oh, and no smoking! yes mummy =D

Btw, i fell of the "detox diet" thing d. On the 1st day itself! Haha. I cant even swallow a panadol if my life depended on it. So obviously i wont be albe 2 swallow 18/19 fucking HUGE vitamins la!! I thought i could blend it n mix in drink. Bad idea. FUCKING HORRIBLE IDEA! It tasted dam fucking disgusting man. So i spend d whole day drinking juice ni. and not eating anything. But went out yumcha at night n had herbal soup. Lolx

So now only my mom is still doing it properly. See she got thin anot.

And she survived.. ;

Stole d pics from Denise =) The nite in Sanctuary.

Look how happy Denise is. Haha

I find this pic really funny. Everyone looks funny Lolx

D girl in the middle is Alley. Went clubbing with her twice ni. But she nice taught me alot of drinking games.

It was a fun nite. But not so fun in MOS. Haha

And she survived.. ;

Friday, April 24, 2009

Everyone in my family is messed up. Fucking messed up. At times, I think my family is a fucking joke as well. From d outside we all look so fucking normal. I wonder whether they can see the problems which lies between each of us or not.

Sometimes i'm just so fucking sick of this family. I really cant stand it anymore. I always try my very very best to ignore everything that's happening but they are still family. And i can't help but care. But the thing is, it hurts to care. Really really hurts and too painful for me to handle.

A fren told me to be strong and don't care bout others. Easier said than done. I already dont care bout other ppl. They can think whatever they want. Do what ever crap they like. I really dont give a shit anymore. But family is a little harder 2 ignore. Maybe it's cause i'm always at home. This is why i always go out. I cant stand being at home d. If i went out 2day, i wont be like this now. Giving up. Too tired.

Another fren told me i shld appreciate my parent while they are still here. Also easier said than done. I try my very best to love them n all but sometimes, it's fucking impossible. Seriously.

I feel like a fucking child stuck in between arguing parents. I cant do anything but look at them or try my best to ignore my surroundings. I block my ears and heart but some how those words find a way into me. It gets harder n harder 2 handle.

No one really gets what i'm tyring to say. They'll tell me dont be so petty, they're your parents. Or don't worry, it'll get better and some other shit. But it wont get better. I sincerely believe it wont get better. Unless one of them is dead or divorced. Then mayb things will get better.

Last year was really the highlight of my life. Because i wasnt there to witness any arguments and shit. Because i wasnt even in the fucking house most of the time.That's y i can't fucking wait 2 leave this country.

I'm just too tired too care anymore. And i give up on this family. Seriously. No point in caring and then getting hurt all over again. Sometimes i wonder how many times can a heart break before you cant put the pieces togather again.

Sometimes i wonder whether i will be able to survive through the storm or not.

I dont know whats right and whats real anymore
I dont know how I'm meant to feel anymore
When do you think it will all become clear
Cause Im being taken over by The Fear

And she survived.. ;

I'm not gonna touch 50% vodka anytime soon (more like forever). I swear! I'm still feeling d effects of it now. And dam dam hangover dis morning.

I almost kenot tahan ystd. Sumore dei keep forcing me n denise 2 finish it 1 shot. Alot of 1 shots. I lost count after d 5th or 6th glass.

Ystd went Sanctuary with frens and Denise. 2 bottles of vodka was really enough la. I don't think we finished d 2nd bottle. Was dam high that time so can't be too sure. Denise wanted 2 get drunk cz she nt driving and she did get drunk! Lolx

After Sanctuary me n denise went MOS. 1st time i club hop. Was suppose 2 go Barce 2 find her cousin but didn't made it too far. Lolx But den MOS quite sien and denise kenot d. So her fren had 2 send us back 1st den only go back MOS. Kesian la. Sumore bday boy. Haha Anyway i wished him Happy Birthday like 100 times.

My sis sumore told me dis morning my mom came into my room 2 ask me where's d shaker. It was only on my table n sure can c but my jacket covering it. My sis said i mumbled something and pointed everywhere but d table, rolled another side and fell back asleep. Then my mom said she din understand a word i said. HAHA

Ah, vodka works in weird ways. But no doubt tequila is still my favourite!

Shin yi 2nite wan go drink cz her bf out of town. Dis kind of gf... tsk tsk But i like! =)

Pics of last nite is with Denise. Shld be uploaded in fb gua?

And she survived.. ;

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I had a fan-fucking-tastic shopping trip ystd! Went all d way down 2 Times Square at 2pm with my sis with the main purpose of buying a gladiator heels. We took d bus all d way 2 KL central den monorail 2 Times Square. No nit sit ktm was a real blessing la. Usually ktm pisses me off. Haha

Walked for 5 hrs n finally found my ultra gorgeous gladiator heels! It was worth every penny and effort and sweat and tiredness i spent looking for it.

And i even found a skirt. I've always wanted 2 buy a peasant skirt but then usually d pattern dam tacky or d material not light and flow-y enough. Lol. The best part was, it only cost me RM25. With a belt. And it's really pretty with my heels =)

I *heart* going to these places hunting for gorgeous pieces. (but only when i'm in the mood la)

And she survived.. ;

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Again i wanna thank all things HOLY that i din trip or fell and embarrassed myself today!! I rmb all d steps. I (kind of) rmb d timing. And i rmb to smile! Got loads of pics but too bad not i haven get yet. Only got a few which my dad took and unfortunately he's a lousy photographer. So later when i get only i'll post la.

Early morning only i was fucking pissed d. Cz dei say reach at fucking 10am cz v got make up and hair 2 do. I reach at fucking 10.15 am aso haven open yet. NO PPL! I dam dulan those kind of ppl. If you ask me 2 meet u at 10 fucking am, fucking make sure YOU ARE THERE AT 10 fucking am!!
This shows i seriously have to patience la.

Then d make up artist aso so so ni. Foundation too thick (usually old fashion ppl use thick foundation). The eyeshadow dunno how 2 blend properly. My fren had 2 help me blend later on. Fake eyelash was d worst la. She really dunno how 2 stick AT ALL. I amature at fake eyelash aso can do so much better than her la pls. Sumore hair like shit only.

Sumore my mom ask me i wanna do d make up course there anot. No thanks la. D ppl teaching that class was my make up artist and i wan vomit blood at her style/technique d la. I doubt i'll even recommend any1 there 2 study make uo much less i go there study.

Dis weekend got a detox diet 2 do! Cz my mom and sis is overweight and my auntie keep saying is really good n all n ppl really lose weight after 3/4 times of this. So dei wanna try. And usually i'll join what ever diet dei do. Lolx

Detox diet means 3 days of ~~disgusting~~ juice and supplements (disgusting vitamins). Have to wake up at 7am and every 2 hrs drink 500ml of juice (got celery, cucumber, bittergourd n all). Well, if my mom n sis really lose weight, Denise i'll teach you how 2 do it. Lolx. But d supplements are fucking expensive la.

Now i kenot afford iphone la. So i'll just get an ipod nano 2 satisfy myself. Make myself happy. Ppl said aust can get cheaper. How cheap izzit horny? I want ipod chromatic 8GB/ 16GB. Tmr i going times square shopping so i'll go check price aso. I kenot do my tattoo d. Bo lui now. Haha

And she survived.. ;

Saturday, April 18, 2009

To buy or not to buy? That is the important question. Hmm...

At 1st i just wanted 2 buy a ipod nano wan. Den look till wanna buy ipod touch. Then suddenly i rmb got iphone. So... Should i get it? I don't even know how much is it la.
But d longer i stare at d pic, d more i want it, the more i drool looking at it...

Anyway, i wanna thank all things HOLY that tmr my drama is CANCELED! Yay!! Alhough i wasted countless hours practising it n all, i'm still very happy is canceled! Cz that drama kinda suck and i no talent 2 be actress la. Haha. There is still modelling though. And i'm fucking nervous cz i'm the one leading them. If i move, then they move. I sked i move too soon or too late. Shit.

Now i'm ~~very patiently~~ waiting for my stockings to arrive from korea! and my vintage dress. And my lace gloves. And my corset. But unfortunately my lace glove and corset haven pay yet. So have to wait longer. Sigh..
This is how i spend $$ w/o even stepping out from my hse. My mom shld lock d laptop (or maybe me) away. I sked by d time i go aust, i no more $$ d.

Another 7 more episodes to download then i'll have complete Heroes season 3!! can't fucking wait =)

And she survived.. ;

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Must want. Must have. =)

Black lace dress. I've been looking for a decent lace dress since last year july. Too bad msia don't have nice looking ones. I wanted 2 make one but still cannot find suitable black lace. All i found was white lace. Sigh.. Maybe i shld do a white dress.

Fell in love with lace gloves as well. But i can't seem to find it here in msia. Means i have to import it and it will cost alot. Dammit!

And obviously stockings are a must have! Thank god these i can ship from Korea at RM25 a pair. And i'm buying like 5 or 6 (not decided yet) so get at RM20 a pair. =)

And Chanel Inspired Handbag! Wanted 2 buy 4 d past month d. Haha

Maxi dresses. It makes me look taller and thinner. Love it but i gotta cut the length shorter so i'm not doing every a favour by sweeping the floor. Haha

For now, i've gotta dream 1st. When got $$ only i can buy. Lolx

And she survived.. ;

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm fucking sick! I didn't even play in rain or anything aso. Suddenly only my whole body aching and i got this irritating headache. Could it be caused by Coco Banana? Yes, i know i finally went Coco Banana after i said many many times i don't wanna go there cz Denise said got alot of aunties and uncles. But last thurs i gave in n went there.

It was so much more happening than Maison. Seriously. Reached there about 12.30am and d dance floor was crowded! Really crowded! Oh how i missed crowded dance floor. And good music. And i even got a bear bouquet thing but unfortunately i left in my friend's car. Lolx

Did nthg much this few weeks except go out n spend $$ shopping. Then go home and felt guilty for spending so much. Then going out again 2 spend more. Sigh. I wish money grows on tree. =) I know, i know. Yeah rite.

Supposed 2 post this pics a couple weeks ago but then lazy and got prob with blogger (which actually is my fault BUT in my defence, i didn't notice i clicked Edit HTML. So all my pics came out in codes) and you know me la.. ;)

My grandma's "cake". She don't like cake so we bought her egg tart. Super expensive egg tart which we waited for almost 30mins 4 it cz dei only cook when it's ordered. But it's really really nice! And soft.

My grandma blowing candle n my baby cuz holding it for her.

My dad's bday cake (celebrate in mama hse)

A couple of days after is my dad's real bday. So i baked a cake for him. A 9-layer choco cake. It was supposed 2 be 12 layer but the ingredients TOO MUCH so i cut down half 2 make smaller one. It was one hell of a prosedure.

Weighing n sifting flour. I hate sifting the most. It takes forever.

Top: already baked. Bottom: batter gonna go in2 oven.

The baked layers. Took me more than 1 hr 2 bake all.

Choco sauce with was alil lumpy. Maybe i didn't mix it properly.

Layering. The choco sauce just drips..

And drips..

A lil messy i know. But it's homemade! It's suppose 2 look messy. =)

Dusted with icing sugar.

Inside. It took me a total of 5 hrs 2 make it inc cleaning up.

And that day celebrating my dad's bday, i was fucking pissed with my mom. I sang Happy Bday even though me n my dad's relationship... But she? I really was fucking angry with her.

I really can't wait till i leave this fucked up country. And world.

Fucked up life. Fucked up family. Fucked up me. =)

And she survived.. ;

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Something's wrong with my fucking blogger. Everything comes out in HTML when i bold a word or smtg. And all my pic comes out in fucking codes. Fuck blogger. Or maybe i changed something and i didn't realized it? Hmm.. But still, fuck blogger!

And she survived.. ;

Monday, April 6, 2009

2day Shu yee, Shirley and phine phine went to the one place i swore i'll never go back at least for another 10 years. Berjaya Redang.

God! I was so surprised when they told me that they were going there. Of all the fucking places in the world, why there?! That place brings back many bittersweet memories which some i really really wanna pour fucking bleach into my brain just to fucking wash the bad memories away.

I really won't ever go back Berjaya Redang if i can help it. Seriously. Life or Death matter also i only will consider. And if possible, i'll also avoid going back Redang Island itself. Too many ppl know me = very not good. The one thing i seriously regret in my life was Redang. I really wish i can get amnesia and forget just that time spent in Redang. Maybe in time i will la. But i guess some memories still will stick on me like fucking super glue. Sigh..

But i do wish them all d best there la. I really hope their time there was better then mine. I learn from my mistake d. Met them for dinner ystd at Old Town kopitiam. I missed that place la. Cz i always go with college frens and always had good times there. Lolx

I got alot thing wanna blog about but i very lz. SO maybe next time ba. =)

And she survived.. ;

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