Withering Petals

Of syd-fucking-ney

2011-09-06T12:42:00.002+08:00

SO this is what happened to my eyebrows. Imagine that dark brown patch all red and all over my eyebrows. I looked like I had 4 angry caterpillars fighting on my face. And it's all because of the viet girl who used the WRONG wax on my face.

She had the fucking balls (or fucking stupid. I'm putting my money on fucking stupid) to tell me that it is normal and that if I put some ice it will be better. Erm hello?? Do I look like a complete idiot or a eyebrow wax virgin for that matter? i know how after waxed skin is suppose to look like.

Then I threw a complete bitch fit (not my proudest moment) and they told me I won't have to pay for the wax and pedicure I had and even have the balls to give me complimentary wax next time. Fuck that shit if you think I'm stupid enough to come back again.

In the end, I sucked it up and ignored it. Queen of avoidance remember? And I went to Sydney and fucking rocked it. Well I think I'm so good at ignoring it is because I was drinking the whole time. Even before boarding we were hitting back vodka. I was a wee be worried that the air attendant would ban us from boarding cz I was so fucking high but no, I even got a couple bottles of wine onboard. LOL

But Sydney was pretty cool even though I was either drunk or extremely hungover. I didn't even had the time to do touristy stuff. I didn't see the Sydney Opera House. I spent most of my time drinking in Darling Harbor and the casino where the guys won shit loads of money (which means more drinks!). Good news, I didn't even fall once or lost my passport and got back to the hotel safe =)

And I rocked that botched eyebrows in the club. Seriously, everyone was so nosy and kept asking me what happened. So I kept making up weird shit like it's and aboriginal custom and that's dried mud. It's henna and I was at a wedding. I'm a fucking alien. And then they buy me a shot ;D

That one nice rare sunny day

2011-08-24T08:23:00.001+08:00

Sometimes I really pity lecturers. They work on their teaching materials and try to make it as interesting as possible. But then it's not his fault that the students are not interested but at least show some respect to them man.

I mean I rarely pay attention in class too. Ask me what we've discussed in a 3 hour long class n I'll look at u with a "What??" expression. Cz seriously, I never listen.

But at least I don't talk or laugh while they're teaching. It's just RUDE people. So fucking rude. And he's one of my favourite lecturer too. Kesian him cz he's way to nice to tell of students.

On a brighter note, I've finished my assignment 3 days before due date!! Woooaaahh, its not the end of the world is it? Are pigs flying? Lol I'm just too excited 4 my sydney trip so I'm so fucking motivated to finish ALL assignments b4 I leave. And I will.
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3

Im back!

2011-08-18T19:46:00.004+08:00

First things first, *takes a deep breath*

I FINALLY HAVE INTERNET AT MY NEW HOME!!!

Pheww.. Glad I got that out. I know I can use internet at uni but it just feels weird to blog there cz fucking nosy ppl sits beside me. I don't even want some friends reading it let alone some busybody.

Since my last post, tons of things happened in my life.

My baby died. And god did that fucking hurt. Especially being so far from him and not being able to hold him. Best part? I was at work when that happened. I broke down in the middle of the shift and my manager had to send me home and told me to call in the morning if I'm not able to come to work the next day. At least he understands that Darling Boy is not just a pet like some ppl does.

To be honest, I'm still not over it and it's been 1 month and 1 day now. I count every single day. Sometime I look at his pic (which I have all over my dresser) and I think about going back to msia to see him. Then a second or two passes by and BAM! I realize he's not here anymore. And it sucks =( But life goes on and I keep marching through it like a motherfucking trooper.

What else? I moved to a new house. It's fucking BIG. A little further from old house to work but hey, at least I'm waaaay nearer to a hospital. Like right opposite the royal children hosp lol

And I'm definitely gonna get another tattoo. This time I'm back to "Memento Mori". Cause somehow the death of Darling Boy just reminds me of this. The fragility of life. One moment he's here and the next.. And I wanna get cherry blossoms to go with the words cz it means the same thing.

My friend said to tattoo a trail of cherry blossoms from my back to over my shoulder to my front.

Thing is, I already have a front shoulder tattoo and it might look a wee bit crowded on the front. I was actually thinking of my wrist but then in the hospitality industry it is pretty damn risky to have it there.

DAMN YOU OLD FASHIONED PEOPLE FOR THINKING THAT TATTOOS ARE THE SYMBOL OF A BAD, NAUGHTY, CRIMINAL-LY TYPE OF PEOPLE!! DAMN ALL OF YOU!!

It's a motherfucking work of ART ok? We tattooed people are actually pretty damn decent. Better then some un-marked people too. Hmph!

This is fucking awesome. I bet it hurt like hell near the breast area.

And this looks like watercolour. I like.

I wanna get it before summer starts so it can heal properly without sunlight hitting on it but then again I don't wanna rush it. I just need to find a good artist to design it for me.

WELL moving on, I'm going to Sydney!! Woohoo! I can't wait. I need a fucking vacation man. It's for a friend's bucks night. Like a real bucks night. Not the kind where it's actually a hens night but we dressed as guys and celebrate like how a guy does.

Which was strip club and massive amount of alcohol and it ended the way it always ended (ie: me not remembering anything once we hit the fifth venue of the night but props for me cause I was the last one ~~partying~~ standing while the rest went home)

But SYDNEY!! God Sydney. It's in 2 weeks and days just don't pass fast enough.

And then it's Thailand in Feb 2012. Beach, sun, waves and (hopefully) hot guys. Cheap massage (not the kinky shit ppl), cheap shopping, cheap alcohol. What more could a girl ask for?

Imagine sitting on one of those blue beach chairs. Feeling the warm sun on your face, the breeze in your hair and a ice cold margarita in one hand... Heaven.

way too young to ruin my life

2011-06-04T20:07:00.003+08:00

Soooo... I feel like I'm about to expire. As in I shld be thinking bout marriage and kids. 2 friends are getting married in July n 4 friends are having a baby. Wow. I really need to stop hanging out with people who are older than me. But then again, one of the girl getting married is only 20. 1 year younger than me. So getting younger friends doesn't really help either.

But still, babies scared the shit outta me. I mean they are cute and all but only when I don't own them. When they start crying or shitting or puking, I can just hand them back to their moms. Those babies, I love.

And don't even mention marriage. 3 words for you. Way. Too. Young. I'm still living my life. Enjoying my freedom. Loving single life. What's not to love? No commitment, no dramas, no messed up emotions. All fun, no strings attached. Well, most of the times is not strings attached. If there is, I just cut it. Like the mean emotionless bitch I know I am lol

I'm not done with partying yet. I still need to go wild, drinking. And messing around. And I'm so excited for one of the girl's bucks night. Apparently we are gonna dress up in suits and ties (like a man, cz the theme is 'Like A Man') and have dinner in one of melb's famous restaurant by evening and club by night hot-spot and then move on to a strip club. A STRIP CLUB! But I'm not too sure whether it's gonna be a sexy man or sexy lady strip club. Hmm.. Well at least I get to dress up like a man and party like one =)

love?

2011-05-08T18:40:00.004+08:00

Was talking to my roomie earlier and we agreed on one thing.

"Guys, when a girls chooses you it's not because you were the only or last option. It's because she choose to be with you instead of all the other guys around. So please do her a favor and not break her heart she gave you so willingly."

We discussed about why we don't choose the guy who treats us right and knows that he'll be there no matter what. We talked about why we choose guys who will break our heart instead.

And we came into conclusion that it's human psychology. It's about who has the power or control. It's kinda like how guys like to chase girls and when he finally gets her he kinda lose interest? It's like that with girls as well. I think that every girl secretly wanna tame the "bad boy". I mean, how cool will it be saying you "tamed" the player and he fell for you? Kinda like: Look everybody! After ALL the girls he met, it's ME he fell in love with.

And me, I love controlling a situation. I abso-fucking-lutely hates it when I'm in a situation I can't control. Or when people tries to control me. It's annoys the hell outta me. Maybe it's an OCD or 'first-born syndrome' or whatever. I need to be in control especially in a relationship.

I admit there was a time eons ago where I don't plan anything waiting for that someone to call and make plans but ended up staying inside all fucking day cz he didn't call.

1 day I just woke up. I said, I deserve better than this. In fact, I deserve so much more. I'm my number one priority. So 1 day, I just stopped waiting. I stop waiting for calls, messages, anything really, from anyone. And I made plans for myself. I do what I want to do.Well, if he really wanted me then he would need to show the fucking effort.

So maybe that's why I'm so indifferent towards people. I really find it hard to open up to someone cz the way I view it, trusting someone is kinda like loosing some control. I think that now they have something personal to hold it against me and I don't like loosing leverage. It's hard to trust someone when a majority of people you've trusted turns their back on you. And god believe me it fucking hurts when it does happen. That's why I choose not to open up too much. They can't fucking hurt me if they don't know me.

And for someone who loves physical pain, I can't take emotional pain at all. It's too god damned crippling.

It's messed up, I realized. But it is the way I grew up.

Fuck you and the world

2011-05-02T13:33:00.005+08:00

So, I've got exams in 6 weeks time, 2 essay and 1 presentation due this week, 1 HUGE ASS report due next week, 1 report due in 2 weeks time, 1 presentation due in 3 weeks, and another HUGE ASS report due in 4 weeks time. I hate my life.

The only bright ass light at the end of the tunnel is a month long holiday. Which I actually planned to go somewhere but now I can't. Because the girl at work is getting married and wants to take 2 weeks off for her honeymoon and if I took my hols, she won't be able too. I let her because I'm nice like that and I love my friends too much to say no. Did I mention she is only 19 this year? And getting married? Fucking A man.

So that bright ass light dimmed a little. Oh who am I kidding, it dimmed alot. I can barely see it anymore. Damn it. So i turn to other things to make me happy. Like... tattoo! Thinking of getting another one in july. Weeee!

Was suppose to be doing one of the ass due this week cz I haven even read the other ass's ques but I'm soo lazy I cbf with it anymore. Don't even mention the presentation. I feel like crying when I think of the things I need to do but has no motivation to do it. Why am I so lazy?? WHY??

So back to tattoos, still obsessing with rain tattoo. I'm planning to visit several artist n ask them to design some cz it is motherfucking hard to find any decent ones.

I drew some but I'm no artist. It needs professional help lol
Prefer the one on the right more.

And omfg I somehow stumbled upon braille tattoos! Fuckmazing...
Will think of getting one but then apparently I read it's not really considered as a tattoo as they make a tiny hole on the skin and insert some kind of round object or smtg like that. Sounds creepy. And me thinks it'll move. Maybe I'll just stick to plain old dots on my skin. I could write RAIN with that! But I kinda like the picture of the rain more..

Thought about doing vie amour rire again. But somehow it doesn't hold that much meaning to me anymore.

Oh, thought of doing a flower eaten up by flames. Maybe a black rose cz it means death and the words memento mori beside it. But it's a pretty dark and depressing tattoo and I don't think I want it to be on me for the rest of my life with people questioning me. Or thinking that I am some emo bitch.

Sometimes, I tell people my Omnia cause fiunt tattoo means 'fuck you and the world' in latin HAHAHA

alco-choco-holic

2011-04-24T21:18:00.003+08:00

I have so many unexplained bruises. WHY? I even got one humongous one on my hip bone and a long one under my stomach. And shit load of unexplained wounds too. I guess that's what happens when I really love Easter weekend.

But what's not to love about it? Chocolate eggs, bunny shaped chocolates and 5 public holiday this year. Which meant 5 nights of drinking =) That and 2.5x pay when I work.

And I admit I do have an alcohol problem. I always drink until I either don't remember the night, pass out or run out of money. Well, I don't ever pass out just mostly having black out. But I always make sure to go out with people who I know will take care of me and they always do. And I always wake up in my bed alone.

But just to be clear I'm not addicted to it. Being addicted means drinking every fucking day and I don't. I can't even think of it after a big night out much less smell of drink it. And I can say no to drinks. My problem is only when I start drinking.

But yeah, no one's perfect so fuck that. I am a self proclaimed chocoholic tho. That shit is addictive =)

And Happy Birthday Darling Boy! xoxoxo

Tattoos AGAIN?

2011-03-31T15:11:00.005+08:00

So I'm back obsessing with tattoos again. Was thinking of getting something to do with rain. The meaning of it is kinda personal so no explaining of it.

Very difficult to find any good rain tattoos tho. I'm gonna assume not alot of ppl has it.

These are real cute but I'm looking for something different.

Maybe a word in diff language? Hmmm...

Or a phrase??

As usual while tattoo hunting I ALWAYS ended up looking for other things too. For example, biiiiirrrrrrddsssss! I really really wanna get a bird flying out of a cage. And obviously it represents freedom (duh!)

Found some pretty awesome ones.

Or really, just birds flying in general.

And how cool are these white tattoos?! If I ever find a place in melbs that does it I'm gonna get my next one in this ink =)

And this, is gorgeous. I'm not exactly sure how she did it but it looks like they cut out her skin and let it heal to form the pattern. I'm. In. Love.

That Girl

2011-03-24T10:57:00.002+08:00

I'm not that girl . The one who misses everyone. The one who tells people she loves them. The one who deals with problems and confronts them. The one who takes the problem heads on. The one who deals with emotion. The one who pours out her problems to friends to share the burden. The one who crys when something bad happens. The one who voice out her thoughts.

I'm not her and I doubt I'll ever be her.

I avoid confrontations. I push away all problems. I don't deal with emotions. I don't tell people I love them even if I really do. I don't miss people cause it makes me feel emotions. And I detest emotions. I don't sit down and have heart-to-hearts. I disappear when things get tough cz I can't deal with it. I keep everything bottled up in and don't ever share it. Cz talking bout it means it's real. And I don't like reality. I live in a self induced dream and don't ever want to wake up.

I'm exactly this kind of girl.

omfg summary of feb

2011-02-22T18:24:00.005+08:00

See how happy I am at the beach? Maybe I shld move to Hawaii.. Or some exotic island...

I wanted to blog bout singapore trip and all but since jo already did it I just can't be fucked to do it again. Go read her blog.

Just missing a few things. Like meeting max and belle and dex and someone else (forgot her name atm). Went to Nabins. Smoked strawberry and milk shisha. Got a free bottle of vodka and drank way too much. It was fun even though I don't rmb going back to hotel. Gotta stop blacking out man.

The last pic was kinda blurry in my mind. If I didn't see it I don't think I wld have rmbed it

After singapore was penang trip. Real last minute but fun. Ate shit loads of food but was only there for a cpl days. Nvm, I will go back there nx year and stay longer and really enjoy the food. Not eat alot of times at odd hours of the day lol hmm.. just realised I didnt take much pic of png. Jo did u take any?

Then it was CNY! I missed seeing everyone but there was a few ppl i didn't get to see cz I only spent 1 day at grandma's place then the rest going out and showing jp kl.

I know we all dont look alike (at all) but we really are cousins

Oh, just rmbed bout the mont kiara pictures. Gotta get them from him when I see him. It was fun shinyi! Really glad u abandoned your mom and going to the bank to go down kl with me n jo n jp haha glad that your bf wasnt there as well. Don't tell him I said that =)

We MUST go to genting the next time I'm back (which is like next year). And maybe langkwi toooooo! Save up alright? =D

Came back to melb -FINALLY- to a bloody fake summer. I feel cheated melbourne. I. Feel. Cheated. Now it's gonna be all cold till year end cz autumn is near.

Denise came. Again. It's like she can't stay away from melb cz of awesome people lives here *points to myself* and went to GOOD VIBRATIONS festival! It was so bloody cool. Eventhough I don't like crowd much it was still fun. There was Erykah Badu, Mike posner, Damien Marley (denise's idol's.. son right?), ludacris and kellis (I only know her milkshake song and yeah I'm singing it in my head now lol) and others whom i cbf to rmb now.

Michelle Cheeeee! Ilikehershessofun!

After that went to Adelaide with Esther. The (sleepy) land of Denise Tan Poh Shin and Michelle Chee. Well, it wasn't that bad tho. I kinda like it as a vacation place.

Cz my idea of vacation involves sleeping late, waking up even later, have brunch or most prolly lunch then laze around till dinner and then laze some more. Ahhh.. the perfect vacation. That's y I love the beach. All u do is sleep on the sand or frolic around in the water.

German town! OMFG those sausages and pork knuckle *salivating*

Esther up to her old tricks again. This is why I sleep with the blanket over my head. Now I rmb.

And! And! And! Little Alessandro Trucco arrived!! Omfg he is so damn adorable. Very quiet baby tho. Doesn't cry but looks grumpy all the time. Took me 1 hour by train and bus to reach her house but it was so worth it.

Look at him..

All of 2010

2011-01-16T13:55:00.009+08:00

I know it's a lil late but I'm bored and it's still jan so fuck it.

Summary of 2010. It was a good year. Better than 2009 I guess.

Went to my first ever AFL game. IT WAS AMAZING! I didn't like crowd (still don't) but went cz it's AFL and there are muscular hotties running sweatingly on the field. The fact that we had amazing seats w/o ppl crowding around us was also pretty damn awesome. We were only 9 rows from the area where players seat =)

My first summer. Beach!! But then the water at this beach is full of jellyfish. Sucks.

Went camping in the winter for tix to some ball. First and last time I'm ever doing it. It was freezing but luckily I had good company.

Started working full time in Hilton. Amazing, amazing views of sunrise and sunsets. Like seriously gorgeous.

Met my favourite guest in Hilton. He is seriously wonderful and is like my family in Melbourne. Brought me and a friend to Melb's most famous restaurant for our bday. He gave me this cookie after I said I'm addicted to sweets.

Met little Anthony. He was adorable! Kept following me around like a puppy even when I'm working. Too bad he belongs to one of my regular guest. If not I'd take him home HAHA

Went to Melbourne Zoo with William and Tommy. It was so so ni. Singapore Zoo is way cooler.

Went to Coles and bought 3 oranges and a marker pen cz it was some kind chinese festival. Wrote our wishes on it and threw it into the Yarra River. Thank god we weren't caught and given a fine. Lol

Made a wall of photos. And then moved house and did not put it up. Yet.

Went to my first Moomba festival! Took pic with a baby pig. Adorable. The adrenaline junkie in me played some kind of tall spinny thingy with William. It was fun and William was scared shitless. Then played some spinning thing cz Tommy is afraid of heights. =S

Got a new roomie! (Not that I had one before..)

Went to Melbourne Old Jail. For freee.

And chocolate factory. For freeee...

Went to Mornington Peninsular. Omfg. Beautiful calming scenery at the wine yards and amazing marvelous beach with sparkling cool clear water. Gosh, just thinking bout it I wanna jump in it already.

Went to Spring Carnival with Cat. Got a dressed up and drank shitloads and camwhored and bet on horses but didn't win. Boo..
And then... Fell asleep LOL

Did a blood test and found out my cholesterol level is pretty damn high. =O Sucks..

Donated blood for the first time. It was so cool. Minus the pain of course. Too bad can't do it till next year and that is if I don't get another tatt.

And of course, got a new tattoo =]

Duckie came to Melb! OMFG she came to melb! I'm still excited after u left and I'm back in msia. =S

Met so many friends that year. Lazy wanna post all of their pics. That's Gigi the dog I babysat a few times. So cute!

Of course, came back and saw FISHY! I really miss u and your crazy thoughts la. Honey stars and braces. Wtf? Hahaha

And the best part of 2010? I got to see and hug and touch my darling boy once again.

Marilyn Monroe

2011-01-12T17:17:00.003+08:00

Found this.

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

Didn't realize that this is where I read the everything happens for a reason thing.
She has quite a few quotes that I like.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world."
— Marilyn Monroe

"We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets."
— Marilyn Monroe

"I don't want to make money, I just want to be wonderful."
— Marilyn Monroe

"Well behaved women rarely make history."
— Marilyn Monroe

First of 2011

2011-01-12T15:21:00.007+08:00

Got my tatt! Woohoo =]

So it's been eons ago since I last updated my blog. That's cause I've been busy with everything and yet nothing.

Denise finally came to melb for a visit. Although we got cheated by melb's shitty 'summer' weather, it was still fun. We did go to the beach tho. Froze our asses off but we still survived lol Gotten a tatt. My 20th bday pressie to myself. Since I couldn't go sky diving. But I wanna go sky diving for my 21st bday! The inner adrenaline chick says YES! Now, I;ve just gotta find someone to do it with me. Hmm..

Went clubbing with duckie after more than 1 1/2 years. It was funnn! We'll do more of it if when you move to melb =)

Saw double rainbow

The crazy 'I Love Australia' chick (didn't wanna post pics of u wearing the boxers hahaha)

Baked muffins in d middle of the night. I wanted to post your chocolate mustache on fb but I dont want people to have witness your mental side like I did. Oh! The horror! LOL

Went around taking pic with graffiti. Damn cool right the graiftti?

Beach! Don't let the warm looking sun cheat you. It was fuck ass freezing.

Came back to msia after so long. Did not miss the humid weather one bit. Luggage got damaged- Fuck you KLIA- but they replaced it with a new one. The inner spoiled brat in me says she doesn't like it and wants her old one back. Went clubbing that exact night with fishy who pissed her bf of because of me. And then pissed him off more cz she got drunk lol

Nye =)

Before I came back to msia I had this whole list to do. Don't exactly rmb what it was anymore but I rmb it involves eating msia food that I missed. But now that I am actually back, I don't really feel like eating those food anymore. Boo..

But I do miss mamak tho. Like I actually miss sitting there, sweating, feeling sticky, smelling of cigg and talking about inappropriate things with shinyi like XXX waxing and pap smears HAHA And drinking Limau Ais. OMFG limau aisssssss! I think that d one drink I seriously miss.

And my bunny gave me a kiss! Well, more like I tempt him to but he's too cute!

omnia causa fiunt

2010-12-06T19:16:00.005+08:00

So finally decided what I wanna get. Omnia causa fiunt. Still deciding where to put it tho. Either a curve under/side of the breast like these

Or along the back at the side cause i'm saving my spine for smtg else that is not aphlabets. Cause it looks weird to me to have people turning their head sideways to read it. So i'm saving that for words like chinese or jap or korean or shit.

She got her misspelled. Fucking A..

Someday, I'll do smtg like this on my shoulder. Maybe 'Bonheur' or smtg.

Isn't this elephant cute??

Of happiness and guiltiness

2010-12-04T18:30:00.002+08:00

Had a pretty lovely birthday this year. Gotten way too many wishes on facebook (especially from people who I DON'T REMEMBER) and a few present with some pretty awesome dinner at prestigeous fine dining restaurants.

Went to Melb's most famous chinese restaurant for 20 years, Flower Drum for a dinner with my favourite guest and another collegue whos bday is also in Nov. We had a 5? 6? course meal with 2 bottle of crazy expensive wine. I don't know what kind of white wine we drank but the red was amazing. It was a 1992 black label of some famous brand (i forgot haha) he didn't let us to see the bill but I saw that it was more than $600. Just the 3 of us. Fuck.

Then second dinner was at Nobu, this famous japanese restaurant in Crown Casino and apparently Tiger Wood's mother went there everyday for dinner when she was here. Which was amazing (although not as amazing as Flower Drum but still pretty damn good). We had a 5 course meal and all and it cost him almost $300. Then as if that $300 meal wasn't enough, he bought me a fucking Ipod Touch 4 my bday. An IPOD TOUCH. Fucking hell. And he said he actually wanted 2 get me a Blackberry Torch which is like almost TWO BLOODY K here. But because he had 2 wait months b4 it is shipped to melb he decided not to (Thank fucking god). He also said if I like Iphone (he knew I hated Iphones cz of the typing part) he wanted 2 get me an iphone 4. Who the fuck gets someone he barely knows such expensive gifts???

Ever since i got that itouch it's been sitting on my desk unopen. Everyday I look at it and I feel guilty for accepting it. I know he treats me to fuck ass expensive dinner and buy expensive things cz he likes me but I've told him again and again that I am not looking for a relationship. AT ALL. And I told him straight out that I can't accept it but he said if I don't accept it he'd be damn hurt. And I can't do that to him cz he is seriously nice. Way too nice, but still nice. So that thing is still on my desk. Staring at me. Damn you itouch.

All good thing comes to an end

2010-11-27T08:53:00.003+08:00

I know, long time no see.

Been obssessed with gym lately. Cause hot muscular guys are prowling around there. Yummy~ and there's this guy who works in the reception likes me. Sexy Italian dude motivating me to go gym almost daily but i don't know his name though. He might have told me before but I think I forgot and he has a name tag but then it has the italian flag colour on it so I can barely read it without staring at his chest like some pervert. His muscular chest LOL

Currently at work tattoo hunting again. I really have no idea what i wanna do. No wait, I know what I wanna do. It's just i have tooooo many kinds I wanna get!

1. Vie Amour Rire - Live Love Laugh (french)

Live life to the fullest, Love like I've never been hurt before and Laugh everyday.

2. Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit - What nourishes me also destroys me (Latin)

There's good and bad in everything in life. Too much of something and it'll become negative. It also means 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger'.

3. I rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints

I believe i have to try everything. And i do mean everything. Even if it's sins. I've sin so much that I'm pretty damn sure I'll go to hell.

Well unless like Duckie said, bottles of alcohol as angels that judge us, then there is a slight possiblilty of me going in to heaven and kicking back with angels while sipping Margaritas. And I love sinning. It feeeels goooood to sin. Rules are meant to be broken, not followed.

4. Omnia Causa Fiunt- Everything happens for a reason (Latin)

It means alot to me cause I strongly believe in that. In a way it also means 'Good things fall apart so better things can fall in place' and I'm a strong believer in that.

It also means to look for the silver lining in the cloud and to look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. Be positive. Be optimistic.

I've always been looking at life as half full anyway. Like if I were to lost my purse with $200 in it, I'd think well at least I didn't lose my whole handbag. Like when my grandma passed away, of course I was sad and cried like hell, but I think of her finally getting peace and being with my grandpa instead of her leaving us.

Or if I were paralyzed waist down from an accident, I'd know it happens for a reason. I'm sure God doesn't want me to suffer, He just have different plans for me. I just have to figure it out.

Oh btw, that last sentence might seem like I'm a super spritual person, I'm actually not. I believe there's a God and everyone's God is the same one. I just don't rely on him much. Like some people I know, when exams are coming, he'd pray instead of studying. And when he gets an average mark, he'd say God wanted me to get this score. WTF?? Seriously stupid. I feel like saying God doesn't help you with exams you idiot, but i didn't wanna get into a debate with him cz he is seriously religious.

5. Memento Mori- Remember that you will die (Latin)

Reminds me of mortality and no matter what we do, how much we earn, we still die in the end. We are all equals in death no matter how much power you had in life or how rich or poor you are. And to remind me that one day I'll die, so live life to the fullest and don't regret so much.

Look at this pic! Isn't the baby dolphin cuuuutttteeeeee????

I like the name

2010-11-02T22:46:00.001+08:00

I look like crap here but this is the only pic i've got lol

Fuck reports

2010-11-02T17:21:00.002+08:00

This is how I look when I am reading 3 of my previous reports in order to write this current one. Oh and about 15 different articles.

I have to learn all this languages to say 'fuck you, report'. It says in Malay Fuck you is Yet Meh. WTF is yet meh?? I thought is pukima or smtg like that?

Seriously, I am running out of time and yet here I am blogging. It's not due till Fri 5pm but then thurs I'm going to the races ALL DAY and I've got work on fri till 3pm. So I MUST finish this bloody report by tmr night. If not. I'll die. Oh and fail too.

Procrastination is a deadly disease. It's ok if it is only 1500 words or below but NOT for 3 motherfucking thousand words. I got like 26 hours left and around 2600 words to write. If I have a clue on what to write it'd be quite alright but then I have absolutely NO idea what I wanna write. I have to write a best practice for a training program for Hilton employees. I could bullshit my way through it except I can't because this report would be shown to my manager as an improvement to the current training plan. So yeah, no bullshitting allowed.

That aside, I've been doing alot of thinking and alot of talking with my roomie. We both agree that making plans for the future is a bad idea. I hate it when someone asks me where do you see yourself in 5 years time. 'Uhh.. I don't know. Dead?' Cz i really don't know. I won't stay in this industry for long so no point telling ppl 'I wanna be a hotel manager!' like a fucking retard.

One of the reason I joined this industry cz I hate business, I don't have the brain nor commitment to study medicine or law and I think engineering is a bore. No offence ppl. Moreover, I like this industry cause I can travel. Since studying, I've stayed in 2 resort island which was WONDERFUL and I came to aussie and met so many amazing ppl. I still wanna travel around the world. My plans in the near future includes, going to NZ and UK. Then I might travel and work through Europe.

I'll do this until I'm ready to settle down then I'll either quite hospitality completely or become a lecturer. But prolly I'll quit cz teaching young adults? Nah.. Then I wanna work with children. I think they are the most amazing little human beings in the world. I like their naivety, innocence and how they view the world.

When they see oil on the road, they see a rainbow, we avoid them cz it's dirty. When they see puddles after rain, they see an opportunity for fun but we see wet soaked sneakers. They are so open cz they never knew what hurt is. They tell everyone everything cz they have no secrets. How did we lose our innocence and trust somewhere along the road of growing up?

Children are amazing. But then I only like them from baby till 5yo. Cz after that they are pretty much annoying LOL Honestly, before going into this industry, I thought of becoming a nanny in the US but then you need experience and I was waaay too young and immature then.

If I'm gonna change industry then I've gotta study again. I might do ECE or smtg like that so I can work with small kids like teaching them how to paint or colour lol

Lacey sky high stilleto

2010-10-31T19:05:00.003+08:00

I think I died a lil when I saw this heel. Lace and sky high heel. Sigh..

Adrenaline rush fades and I'm tired

2010-10-25T19:31:00.003+08:00

Blogging at work. Had a quality auditor (SUPER important ppl who checks and marks us on our brand standards) checking in today and SURPRISE SURPRISE, I was the one check in her in. Eventhough I wasn't EVEN suppose to be in front office today. "You're the best" they said. Yeah fucking right, I've only been in front office for like a month. And I'm still asking people things and being lost there.

And damn was it nerve wrecking. Everyone was staring at me. Literally EVERYONE. My general manager, front office manager, Business Development manager, Quality manager, Assistant manager, Duty manager, everyone at concierge and front office. I almost fainted from the pressure. If they did not made it such a big deal it would have been fine. But I did get some chocolates and a HUGE thank you from everyone 4 checking her in so YAY ME!

Holloween is gonna come. I have to check and see what party is going on cz a friend's bday is on d 29th so I dont really think he will be doing a holloween themed party in a club. Or maybe I can still dress up. I asked my friend that day what he suggest and guess what he said? "Victoria Secret Angel" wtf? "Oh, and get the wings too!!" Excited much boy? In your dreams honey. I won't be prancing around town and clubs in my underwear and wings. Wouldn't that be a sight to see.

Oh DUCKIE! I googled watermelon tattoo and didn't find many. Rare. Found this which is pretty cute lol

And I've found some tattoo parlors around here. Gonna find 1 day to go around and check it out. And ask 4 prices too =) I'm so EXCITED!! Dec is like a stone throw away!

Melbourne Cup Racing is coming and I should start finding a dress for it. BECAUSE I'VE GOT THAT PUBLIC HOLIDAY OFF!! It's like going out and having fun, BUT being paid to! I'm so excited to go to the races and dress up like some posh bitch cz it is expected there.

BFF tatts

2010-10-15T12:55:00.007+08:00

FISHY GOT A BLACKBERRY!!!!

You don't know how excited I was when I saw it! I woke up still blurry eyed and saw your bbm request and I JUMPED right up! And frightened my roommate cz usually I check my phone, roll over and fall back asleep. LOL

And you got the WHITE one! The one I really really really LOVE. I AM SO HAPPY YOU GOT A BB INSTEAD OF AN IPHONE FISHY! *can you tell how excited and happy I am through the caps?*

And you said you wanna get a friendship tattoo with meeee! And so I went and google it. Thought of a few kinds and found some =D

We could get a simple tribal design for friendship:
This is cute but then more like for lovers lol
We could get it on the breast but not this design (i don't even know what design it is lol) or u wanna do in on the inner thigh??? The sexy spot haha

Or, we could do a fish and a turtle. I get a fish n u get a turtle =D
This turtle is so cute. Abit cartoonish tho lol
Best part about fish and turtle, they have their own meaning individually. Different fishes have different meaning but generally they mean longevity, wisdom, loyalty, knowledge, harmony, prosperity, wisdom and persistence.

Where else turtle means patience, wisdom, strength, endurance, longevity, good fortune and freedom.

"The turtle represents order, creation, patience, strength, stability, longevity, innocence, endurance, and protection. The turtle is a symbol of good fortune, it is a positive omen and some say gifting a turtle will bring 10,000 years of happiness to both the giver and receiver."

Damn, now I wanna get a turtle tattoo lol

Or we could get a saggitarius sign. Cz we both are saggi and it's positive traits includes independent, adventurous, open, honest, dignified, optimistic, enthusiastic, philosophic, idealistic, open-minded, loyal, magnanimous, frank. But negative traits of a saggi are indolent, self-indulgent, conceited, dogmatic, pointless wanderings. But wtv, I like the saggi sign cz we are so alike in thoughts lol
And when I say get a saggi tattoo, i mean the arrow not the human horse thingy (centaur I believe). Simple and nice.

So, I don't remember who or how I know dragonflies are a symbolism of friendship. But when I google the meaning of dragonfly, nothing about friendship came up.

"In Japan, the dragonfly represents strength, courage and happiness. This symbolic meaning falls in nicely with the Native American meaning of renewal, as moving forward after enduring hardship demonstrates that you are strong and courageous and ready to embrace happiness once more."

Oh and max, remember I said if u want me to tattoo your name u have to either tattoo my initial or a turtle? Look what I found!

Isn't it sexy??!! God, I wanna find out who this dude is..

Pics are from google.com

Vie Amour Rire

2010-09-28T23:24:00.004+08:00

Tattoo hunting now! All thanks to denise and her fb post which made me thought of her dad getting a tattoo (which btw still cracks me up) and then followed by me thinking AND dreaming about tattoos last night lol

I had so many ideas of what I wanna get. First, word or symbol/picture. After a careful consideration (of approx 5mins) i decided to stick with word. Cz I don't wanna be another girl who ppl thinks is a bimbo for getting a pic tattoo 'cause it's like, pretty and stuff and like, I look so like, cool with it' Fuck you bimbos for permanently ruining pic tattoos.

So yeah words/lettering tattoos for me. YAY!!

I want something to do with happiness. I think one day, I'll prolly have a few words tattooed on me. Cause I wanna get faith, freedom, mortality, imperfection and so many more. My friend said 'Why don't u just tattoo 10 stars in different styles and sizes to represent different things'. Like that better I just tattoo 20 stars or butterflies, 'cz it looks prettier!' *in my best bimbo-tic voice ever* across my body and not get anymore cause I've ran out of words to name them. Do I look like a fucking retard? Or a bimbo by any chance?

If bimbos hadn't ruined pic tattoos I was thinking of a bluebird tattoo cz it symbolizes prosperity, good luck and good health and the blue colour symbolizes eternal happiness.

Words, I was thinking between a simple happiness in english or french which is Bonheur. Or live love laugh or vie amour rire.
And for the word, which ever one I finally choose, it's gonna be on my right shoulder. Or on my chest near my shoulder so I still can cover it with a shirt if needed. And maybe with a few cherry blossoms with the word.

Cz cherry blossoms represents the fragility of life. It grows,it blooms, it gets so beautiful that everyone 'ooh..' and 'ahh...' at it but no matter how beautiful it blooms, death still claims it short short life. And it's a symbol of beauty and sexuality. And the way of samurai as well: 'This is a good day to die'. No, I'm not gonna commit suicide or anything. It just means live life as if you'll die tomorrow.

Speaking about living life. I did thought of doing:

Rêve comme si ta vie ètait èternelle
Vis comme si tu derais mourir demain

it means

Dream as if you'll live forever
Live as if you'll die tomorrow

Love this tat as well. I've always love wolf and feather and this a perfect combination of both. Although wolf represents loyalty, victory, fidelity and courage, it also represents evil spirit, chaos, lechery and in early Christianity, it represents Satan.

But how can these adorable cutie represents Satan??

Singa-motherfucking-pore

2010-09-23T21:12:00.002+08:00

Oh Oh! And I'm going to singapore! I'm going to singapore! For a holiday =D

Guess how much it costs staying in Hilton Singapore? SGD 38! Yes! Thirty eight sg dollar!! For a night! For 2 ppl! I almost fainted when I saw the price. I thought I got blind for a sec and missed a 1 in front of 3 but no, it is SGD 38! Which is like AUD 30 only. Fucccckkkkking CHEAP!! =O

And msia is like RM90 per night bt that is PJ Hilton not KL Hilton. Which these super cheap rates I wanna travel around the motherfucking world man! So cheaaapppp!

Imma stay with Hilton until I've traveled the world =)

Even if they don't pay me enough and gives me to much work sometimes. And seriously, I would not recommend anyone to work in front office. Cause we don't get paid enough to get yelled at by guest. Yes, it's not all glamour and shit working in hotel. We have to deal with shitty people and their shitty complains occasionally. and it sucks. Getting yelled at in the lobby in front of so many ppl.

But being a manager sucks even more. Cz at least when the shit guest is shouting I can just leave and ask my manager to deal with them cz I'm not paid to get yelled at. I have my dad for it. It's his lifetime job and commitment to me. And the sad part is, managers actually don't get paid enough to be yelled at. And dealing with shitty people every single day.

I'm happy doing this for awhile. Maybe switch to reservation or smtg later on. But for now, I'm loving life. Even if I have that love sick puppy following me around. And I can't kick the said puppy away because I'm not that cruel but seriously, how I tell him I am not interested. I'm showing so many OBVIOUS signs already and he still don't get it. I might have to do what I told ducky, sharpie "I'm not fucking interested in you" on my motherfucking forehead. Maybe then he will finally get a clue!

I'm Chuck B(ad)ass and I don't die!

2010-09-23T21:08:00.002+08:00

"chuck didn't die!"
"chuck didn't die!"
"chuck didn't die!"
"chuck didn't die!"
"chuck didn't die!"
"chuck didn't die!"

But then GG is getting kinda dull. Maybe there wasn't enough drama in the 1st episode. Baby milo is cute tho.

Now I can't wait for Bones, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate housewives, NCIS and Dollhouse =D

The 2 sides

2010-09-08T21:10:00.005+08:00

I'm suppose to be asleep. But I just watched finished Gossip Girl season 3 (i KNOW im waaaay behind) and all i can think of is 'Damnit! Chuck got shot. Chuck got shot. Chuck got shot' *crieeeesssss* I guess I've gotta be grateful that I'm so extremely outdated that the new season is starting soon. I. CANT. WAIT.

I'm a HUGE fan of Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. They're adorable. I love how their evilness complements each other haha and Jenny? 1 word: BITCH. Like a small girl trying to fit in to adult life. Serena? She's like lost, going around in circles making pathetic mistakes. But I can't decide whether I like her with Nate or Dan. Hmmm...

Bt I definitely hate Vanessa. Idk why I just do. Trying to act all 'goody two shoes' but is actually hatching evil plans. I prefer ppl who shows others they are mean instead of pretending they're not. I realised Dan is like a man whore in the show! He's like jumping from one girl to another in just one season. And I do mean literally jumping. Jumping in bed with different girls that is lol

Awww don't they look adorable?

Sigh.. been having boy troubles. I feel like I'm cheating on one when I'm with another and I feel like I'm playing/using (wtv u wanna call it) the other to make another jealous when I said i'm over him. THIS is exactly why having relationship is so frustrating. Boys sucks. Which is why no strings attach are so much easier and fun. Once it gets emotional, you can just cut it off without repercussion and ppl thinking u are mean for breaking up with the 'bf'

Heartbreaker

2010-09-04T08:23:00.009+08:00

Hola!I don't look like this now lol changed my hair colour. Went back to being brunette.

Had a few exciting dayss lately and been pretty busy until I don't get to sit in front of comp for more than 2 hours. Currently I just woke up (still haven brush teeth yet hahaha) and it's like a motherfucking thunderstorm outside!

Last last week (i think?) went to a friend's bday @ Lavish club. Took a bunch of pics there BUT he said he won't post it in fb cause "there's alot of ppl I don't like who came 2 Lavish" Which brings up the question of "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HANG OUT OR INVITE PPL YOU DON'T LIKE TO YOUR FUCKING BDAY PARTY?" Answer? Simple, he probably just wanna look cool like look-at-how-many-friends-I-have-attending-my-party kind of cool. Fuck that. If I don't like someone, I'll very very rarely hang out with them and if I do I probably got dragged there. Now I can't get the pics until I meet up with him again. N it's a maybe.

I also went to CHOCOLATE FACTORY!!!!!! Omg I could just imagine myself living there FOREVER! I'll probably get reaaaallly faaat and die of heart disease cz my cholesterol is high but I. Don't. Care. We also went to a winery which was comsi comsa and the melbourne crime tour which brought us to places where famous massacre happened which was pretty cool but depressing to hear about at 10am. Best part? ALL FREEEE! It's free for any other tours I want as well =D I love working in hotels.

A portrait of Edna Dame (?) made of chocolates!
Chocolate Town! I wish I could live in it. It even has a train moving lol
No, it's not a brown wall. It's a MOTHERFUCKING CHOCOLATE WATERFALL!! You can't imagine how badly I wanted to climb in and open my mouth or just fucking bath in it! =O
Chocolate shots

Oh speaking about work, Hilton is abusing me damn it! Because they know I can handle up to 40 guest BY MYSELF, they usually try to save $$ by not getting a part timer to help me. My fav guest said he hope I'm getting paid triple for the way I handled things that extremely busy night and made sure everyone had a drink. I told him I hope so to but no, I'm still getting paid normal rate with pm penalty. Sucksss

And my manager and front office manager is arguing cz they both wants me to work in their departments. Cause front office is waaay to low on trained staff bt my manager said he already took one of our girls so he's not getting me too. Oh how the vain side of me love being fought over! But then I think I prefer it being guys instead of managers...

Oh and I moved to a new apartment! And I absofuckinglutely loveeee my new housemates! They r like my parents cz they are always cooking food for me and everytime I come home late after work, they have like a bowl of soup or smtg waiting 4 me in the micro oven =D

The view is amazingly gorgeous too! 17th floor man.

Our dining table which looks out the balcony

And we did steamboat! My first steamboat ever in Melb not counting Korean hot pots.
Self made wantans. Yummey!
The guy who lives with his gf in d other room. He's super nice
His gf and meeee!

They are so adorably sweet that sometimes I can't even look and I'm not talking about pda and all. It's just the way he treats her and the way they both adore each other. They've been together for almost 3 years. Sometimes when I look at them I think "I want that someday too..." They are just tooo adorable!

My roomie! She's from Columbia n speaks Spanish. I shld ask her to teach me spanish and dancing. She's a dance teacher n works in Hilton too. Don't ask me how old she is cz I have no idea! I thought she was like 25 or smtg but apparently she got her driving license 15 yrs ago....

My first ever sports shoe. And get this, I'm actually jogging! Like full on sweating and shit. Cause I need to control my cholesterol cause I miss cakes and cookies too much! Life seriously just got that much depressed when I don't eat those. Not even ice-cream or chocolates. *crieeessssss*

Don't be suprised if one day u read a news saying "Girl, 20, died because her body shut down since she's been banned to eat cakes, cookies, muffins, ice cream and most of all, chocolates" LOL

AFL footy match! Who says I need an Aussie bf to bring me to a footy game? I can go there perfectly with my roomie with free tickets and the best seats =)

This is Gigi! i babysat her for the night and she is SO CUTE! I want a dog so fucking bad now!

Footy Fever

2010-08-21T17:13:00.002+08:00

So I did this free health check thing at work and I have reaaalllly high cholesterol O.o

Average is below 5 and mine is 6.25! But good news is d good cholesterol is much higher than the bad ones. But it's still dangerous to have high cholesterol so it's not considered as good news. Boo! It might be caused by thyroid cz it's usually genetic.

The lady told me to eat more fruits (I eat alot of them already), exercise more (I fucking walk to work and swim every 2 days), stop smoking (I only do it once a week) and eat less cakes, cookies and processed food (NOOOOO! How can I not eat cake & cookies??).Whatever la, I'll see doc on wed n see what happens then.

Went to see footy today! My first footy game and it was so much fun!! My roommate got us free tix and it was really good seats. We sat just 9 rows from d field and on the side where we can see d whole game AND near the area where d players sit!

Got to watch real life action where hot guy in shorts and tight shirts tackle each other! *drooooools* I was like d odd one out cz I was wearing shorts there. In winter. Cz we were late so we went right after work and I wore shorts 2 work thinking I won't be going anywhere.

Oh and I finally own a sports shoe! Cz I walk alot here and I keep abusing my flats which are uber expensive and too pretty to be treated like that. So I got myself a nike shoe (as if it's not uber expensive to be treated like that! haha) but yeah, my first ever sports shoe!

blogger's being a bitch. Can't upload pics now.

Fuck awesome camping

2010-08-09T15:38:00.005+08:00

U won't fucking believe what I did last night. Get this, I went CAMPING. Yes, me. Camping. You'll never hear it in the same sentence unless there's a not or hate there. Lol

My friend text me at 9pm asking me whether I wanna hang out 4 drinks in the city. It's weird cz they don't usually come to the city on a sunday night. Apparently they are "camping out at melb uni to get tix 4 a ball" So I thought "Ok cool so u people are really nuts about footy" cz aussie REALLY are big on footy.

But it turned out to be tix for a prom kind of ball. Like dinner drinks and dancing kind of shit. AND THEY ACTUALLY SLEEP IN THE COURTYARD FOR IT. DURING WINTER! Fucking crazy I tell you. And it was a long standing tradition that they camp out 4 d tix. It used to be camping for 2 days but now it's just 1 day.

So I thought I was just gonna go there have a few beers then cab back home. But I ended up sleeping there. In the camp. In the fuck ass freezing weather that was below 5 degrees. On the fucking hard frigid concrete. With my handbag as a pillow. And sharing a sleeping bag with my friend snuggling for warmth. I jammed my toes between his legs haha

It was... an adventure. Now I can go around telling people "You know what, I camped out during winter for tix before. And best part is? I wasn't even gonna attend the event. I did that cz I have nothing better to do and rather spend a night out freezing my ass off than sleeping in my warm comfy bed" HAHA

But it really was not bad. Minus the frigid temperature. We had beers and vodka and played drinking card games. And I found out I actually suck at thinking games (or maybe it was just too cold and my brain was numb) cz every time we have those games, I ended up drinking. Damn...

We shared ghost story as well. The horror! After that all of us were like paranoid and kept thinking that someone was outside our tent. Followed by a convo about porn and porn stars (I have no idea how it came up) and people who were sitting outside of our tent was staring at us. Lol It ended with the 2 other friend fall asleep on us while talking. And me getting like 30mins sleep but feeling like I slept for hours. And my back and neck hurts. Not surprised tho.

If there is ever another time I'm doing it (which most prolly be never), I'm bringing lots of blankets and pillows. And hot food like pizzaaa or maccas or smtg. I was glad I went tho. We don't spend much time which doesn't involve clubbing. Pics are my his cam so will post when I get them. I think.

Is love ever enough?

2010-07-28T16:56:00.002+08:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything bt this is not a happy post. It's gonna be sad and depressing and full of tears.

I just received a text from my friend. She said it was one of the hardest decision she's ever made in her life. She said she put her dog down. I don't know why but when I saw that text I just burst into tears. Thanks heavens I was alone in my room.

I mean, I haven even seen Fluffy before, only in pictures. But I could tell how much my friend loved her. She's been her dog for 11 years. ELEVEN fucking years. Fluffy has been sick for like 2 weeks already and we all know she wouldn't make it bt still. She's always saying how she would not put fluffly down cz there is always a chance for her to get better and she believes in miracles.

It just makes me wonder. Who the hell are we to determine whether the animal or pet is to live or to die. Humans don't even have the right to die (it's a crime to commit suicide) so why do we dictate it for animals? They have feeling too. They just can't say it out loud like we do.

I've always thought of this issue. They say if u love them u'll let them go. Sometimes I wonder if my Darling Boy gets too sick and the vet asks me what to do. Whether I want to put it down or not. Save him from his pain. I love him so so much. But I just don't know whether I love him enough to let him go. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I want him to always be with me but I know it's not possible.

And for my friend to make that decision, I think she is so fucking brave. In a way I am proud of her for being able to make the decision but at the same time I am angry as well. What if with more time Fluffy could actually get better? We wouldn't know now would we?

Ugghh, I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm gonna have a nice hot chocolate and eat chocolate chip cookies and not think about it anymore. It makes me very upset.

A pushover? Nah, just a shopaholic

2010-06-30T18:31:00.004+08:00

Have you ever went in a shop swearing that you wont spent a dime or only get exactly what you needed but SOMEHOW ended up leaving the shop with so much more? Well I have ALL THE TIME.

It wasn't a shop this time. It was a fucking hair saloon. I went in expecting to just cut my hair which is not worth more than $90. Which looks gorgeous albeit a wee bit too short for my liking. Cz I had split fucking ends.

Oh btw, I burned my fucking hair. When they say human burning flesh is the worst smell of all, they are fucking lying. It's the hair that produce the fuckass stinky smell. I had my hair in a side fish braid at work n I was holding a tray of candles. I didn't realize that everytime I bent, my hair got veeerrrryyy near to the flame. And so I prolly burn a couple inches of cz I bent down around 14 times. And there I was, wondering what is that deathlike smell coming from. LOL Then I hysterically called Rokk to make an apt the nx day. The lady who answered prolly think I'm nuts or some shit.

Anyway I somehow left Rokk Ebony with shampoo and conditioner. Cause my ah-may-zing-ly gorgeous GAY hairdresser convinced me that the Kevin Murphy shampoo will help my hair. I admit, I've been neglecting taking care of it for a few months d (hence the split ends). So I said why fucking not. And i cost me $80. EIGHTY! I spent RM240 on shampooooo. My mom would shit a fucking cow if she finds out man.

The shampoo n conditioner. Pretty special bottle. Guess how BIG is it?

YUP! That fucking big! It's suppose to last me 3-4 months tho. And promises me amazing gorgeous soft shiny healthy hair. If not... Mr Murphy, u'll be expecting a fucking call. We'll see in a few days.

Moving on, this is one reason why I like working in an Executive Lounge.

No, not because I get to build shit and waste time. It's because I get time to waste to play with really adorable 6 yo boy. He was bored cz his parents was talking with another guest. So he came n bug me to play with him. And we build this "tower" out of round coasters which was fucking tough cz it kept rolling. So we ended up using blu tack to hold it. Hahaha N he cried when it was time to leave.

Oh! And I've already (kind of) decided where and what I wanna tattoo! I wanna get it on my shoulder. Now I can't fucking wait to go back to msia!!

Smtg like this bt with words instead.

Stink eye bitches!

2010-06-24T14:21:00.002+08:00

I had this god awful nightmare last night. Maybe it was because I watched Sex & the City 2 and they have all those Arab people with their burqas and shit that triggered the nightmare.

It's a pretty long dream so i'm just gonna make it short. I got yelled at by a muslim lady because I was returning her handbag that she left in the tram. Fucking hell. I woke up pissed as shit. So when I go out, I'm gonna give every one of them the fucking stink eye! Haha. Well, wtv la.

Satc2 was not bad but I expected more. 2 1/2 hours of fuckmazing fashion bt story line so so ni. There was this one dress I just can't wrap my head around.

It's nice I mean. But to a spice market? Where they sell things and... spices and... is a fucking market? Err.. I don't think so. Other than that, LOVE the airlines they took! Oh god, a freaking BAR in the plane! and oh-so-spacious seats which looks like little cabins. I like the part where they all stare at the lady with a cloth covering her mouth and wondering how is she gonna eat the fries. "A lift for every fry. Now that's commitment" and I laughed LOL

Well, enough of movies n fashion. I'm gonna do volunteer work! It's with this organisation called Challenge. It's for kids with cancer. This sunday they'll all come to Hilton for a sleepover where they can play games and watch movie the whole night and forget that they have cancer.

I think it's pretty sweet. the thought of cancer is devastating. But kids with cancer? Even worse. And with the amount of bad things I've ever done, heaven knows I need to do charity work more often HAHA bt I'm pretty sure I can't even begin to balance it out

The theory I have

2010-06-15T09:24:00.003+08:00

Suppose to be doing my French hw now bt ALL THOSE VERBS CONJUNCTION is giving me a freaking headache. Best part is, I just fucking woke up and I have work later.

I have this theory. I think one of my ancestor must be a japanese. Cause I've been told I look like a jap more times than I can count. There was this one guest who came up to me and started blabbering in japanese and all I did was stare at him and said "Pardon?" Hahaha. And now my sister said someone said she looks jap too so I really think some ancient ancestor of ours is jap. Maybe that's where I got my small eyes from and being so short haha

I'm gonna move house AGAIN. A very long story which I've already told people more than 5 freaking times so I ain't gonna do it again. I'm gonna move 2 streets down. Yes, I do realize I get the =.='' expression from people when I tell them that AND when I say I pay and extra $200 as well.

So I was thinking, should I get a roommate? A girl obviously. A guy friend of mine was so excited when I told him this cz he thought I was asking him to be my roommate. Not in this lifetime honey. There's this really really nice girl who works in the hotel with me but she's like this SUPER clean freak. Like, she cleans the bathroom everyday. I don't even clean the bathroom. I hate cleaning. That's y I pay people to do it for me. I know, spoilt pampered princess of the fucking century.

My room is pretty clean but it's quite messy. No, I don't have clothes lying around. It's too precious to be sitting on the floor haha. But I do have books, papers, pens, make up stuffs, handbags, etc. lying all around the room. And the occasional socks or two. Clean of course! lol

But if I have a roommate, I would save $500 a month. AND that means I can definitely go for my vacation (if I get to persuade them to change it back to Jan), more shopping money and clubbing too. Hmm... Sounds so tempting.

I can already see the sunny pristine beach, snow falling in China AND a ski trip to Mt Buller =D

When winter comes.. lingerie comes out

2010-06-09T16:40:00.006+08:00

It's so c-c-c-c-c-old! Really, I have trouble speaking properly and stutter sometimes. Winter is either already here or is approaching reaaaal soon. Sometimes I feel like my nose is about to drop off cz it's too freaking cold and strong wind doesn't help at all. Once I can't even feel my nose at all! And then after awhile i realize I had snot about to trail down my nose! And I didn't even realize it! Disgusting I know hahah but thank god it was bout 4am so there was no one on the street. Imagine if it was in the afternoon and I surrounded by people HAHA

A friend suggest to me to wear ski mask. I would. I really really would. If it wasn't for the fact cops might tackle me down in the middle of the street and shop keepers peeing their pants while calling the cops, I would already buy a ski mask. And prolly ski googles as well. Sometimes I feel like pulling my eyeballs out and fondle them in my pocket cz it's so bloody windy and cold I can barely open my eyes. I know, I get weird thoughts sometimes.

Ok, forgetting about ski mask now cz I can't never have it. Now, I'm ALL about stockings and lingerie as outwear. Mmm.. Sexy, I like =)
Stay ups, knee highs, thigh highs, lace, corsets and so on.

Corset, print skirt and garters.. Need I say more?

Like the eyelet skirt and white stay ups looks innocent

Ankle socks over thigh highs. Daring, bt not something I would try lol

It's actually black stockings but she cut it to look like stay ups. Smart bt most prolly u can only wear it once

I like the little girl style more than the left one

Stay ups and boyfriend shirt. I like how she looks like she rolled out of bed, slip on heels and walk out the door haha

I can't decide whether this looks a wee bit cheap or nice...

This pic makes me wanna get a thigh high boots and a nice cut blazer *drools*

The only one thing I don't like bout this lingerie trend is this:

I'm really against showing bras and panties no matter how "in" it is. Seriously a hint of it is fine but not the whole back strap of it. Lace is sexy. Not like this tho.

I've seen it quite a few times during summer and all I could think of is "Why can't this girls afford to buy better fitting bras for their clothes?" Then I found out it actually is a trend =.=;

Pics credit goes to www.fashionising.com

All sorts of fanatics

2010-06-02T14:31:00.003+08:00

You'd think that with so much free time on my hands I would be ecstatic. But no, it's pretty boring and sometimes bad. Cause I'll either spend money on shopping and going out or i'll sit at home and become obsessed about something.

Previously, I was obsessed about learning French. Now... not so much but I am still interested in learning it. My class here is waaaay more fun than the one in Taylors. We do crossword puzzles and role play in french!

So now I am all about health and shit. I even picked up yoga cz I'm just too bored. I would have done pilates but then it requires a lot more muscle and all I need is to channel this pent up energy somewhere else.

And I'm gonna try this diet thing. It's a french diet and it sounds interesting and most importantly, it's do-able. Apparently u can lose 6kgs in one month and u wont regain it if u follow properly. Imma see how much I can lose just cz im that bored. I'll let you know whether it really works or not =) But I'm not gonna start for another few weeks cz I don't want alcohol to interfere with it. So i've gotta give up alcohol and ciggs for at least a month. OH THE HORROR!!

Speaking about alcohol. A guest told me I had my priorities ALL WRONG. According to him, we must have a balance in our life. I agree. I work as much as I have fun. Then he said partying should always come before work. I want to agree but I can't. Cz for me, work always come first. Without work, there's no money. Without money, there's no partying. Therefore no fun, no alcohol, no socializing, no hugs from handsome strangers, no making out with ---, etc. etc. U get my point lol

Partying is fun but it doesn't pay rent. Well, it does if I'm a socialite but I'm not. People don't pay me to party (I SO HOPE I DO) instead people pay me to run the executive lounge smoothly. But sometimes, I do party before going for the morning shift. Not hardcore party tho, just drinks and playing the EVER EMBARRASSING "Never have I ever" game. For those who don't know it, go google it. And for those who haven play before, don't play if u have done plenty of erm.. not exactly good things. Cz u'd be drinking the entire night. Seriously.

But innocent fun tho. And ALL things happened when u drink, REMAINS in that "drinking" moment. It's like what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Don't ever mention it to me when I'm sober.

the result of NOT shopping

2010-05-20T08:53:00.002+08:00

Spent $400 in 2 days. This prolly means no vaccy for me nx yr. I swear I didn't spend it all on shopping. I only spent $100 buying a set of Calvin Klein lingerie (gotta love CK) and a normal jacket to wear at home. THAT'S IT.

Where the other $300 went is a really really good question. You see, I went clubbing fri night went out with $150, came home with $4.40. That was cz I kept buying drinks for people. Drunk me= Generous me. It's a trait I detest! And I paid for my friend's cab fare back to boxhill cz he was too fucking drunk to do anything except blabbering nonsense n some other shit.

Then sat night we went bar and karaoke. I bought this shot called "Flat Line" and damn was it goooood! It's half tequila, half sambucca and a few drops of TABASCO sauce. It looks a lil weird cz the tabasco floats between tequila n sambucca so it reminds me of this tiny little fetus. Now that I think of it, it's really disgusting. Then we opened bottled in the karaoke bar which somehow totaled up to $100 each.

So much for NOT shopping eh.

Damn it.

Smart is the new SEXAAY

2010-05-13T13:01:00.003+08:00

Been hiding at home for the past 2 days cz I didn't wanna go out and spend $$. The things I do to save money..

Well, not really hiding cz I had some friends over to stop me from going out haha. We watched The Big Bang Theory complete season 1 till 1am last night. HOW IN THE WORLD HAD I NOT KNOWN ABOUT THIS SHOW?? Damn fucking funny. I really laughed till I had trouble breathing!

For those who still live under a rock (like I had previously but now have been enlightened), it's about 4 super genius scientist with absolutely zero or barely there social interaction skills and a pretty blonde new neighbour who has an "average" IQ. For me the funniest character is Sheldon (2nd from left wearing a Flash t-shirt)cz he's freaking smart and thinks it's perfectly normal to point it out to others and he has this weird obssesive complusive disorder where he labels everything including the label maker HAHA and a questionable sense of logic too.

Then the Indian guy can't talk to pretty ladies. EVER. Well, unless he's drunk of course. And the other guy whom I suddenly forgot his name (1st from left) thinks that he's this "sex machine/sexy macho man" who can speak 6 different languages and hits on ladies with weird opening lines. The guy sitting on the top is Lenard who is prolly the most "normal" people in the group n he likes Penny but is too chicken shit to acknowledge it lol

These guys are really super nerds. They bought a freaking time machine of ebay! haha Well, gonna continue watching second season tonight provided I'm not going out.

It's getting colder now as winter is just 3 weeks away (at least that's what the paper said). One part of my brain keep telling me I need to buy more warmer stockings and a thick warm jacket and gloves and boots and prolly ear muffs too. But the other side of my brain says "No Carmen, NO SHOPPING"

So, what in the world should I do? Damn it, I hate it when the two side of my brain is fighting. Fuckkk

J'adore faire du shopping

2010-05-05T14:42:00.003+08:00

Heart this skirt. It feels so 70's or something. I keep telling myself "No Carmen, no more shopping for u" and look at what I bought? If this keeps up, along with clubbing, I think no vacation for me next year where I am suppose to go China and Thailand =(

As much as I love being around people, I also love being alone. Now, every Wed after my french class I'll go to this cafe and have a skinny cappuccino and a slice of cake while reading the day's newspaper. My friend said I sound so european haha cz apparently that's what they do there in the afternoon.

Another friend said why I sound so lonely? Some people just don't understand that having alone time is just precious. I'm surrounded by people all the freaking time even at home. It's nice but really all I want is some quiet time to unwind. Especially after a loooong tiring week.

And really, what's a girl gotta do to make a guy STOP being interested in me?? Honestly, I'm fucking annoyed with him. I told him I've got a bf (NO denise I don't!). Common sense would tell u to back the fuck off right? And yet, he still asks me when is my off days and what am I doing. Hello, even if i'm dead bored, I still wouldn't go for coffee or movie or dinner with you alright? I rather die being bored at home. One day, I should just say "I'm busy cause i'll be fucking my bf 48 hours straight." Maybe that will finally put him off.

And what's wrong with being single? Everyone I meet ask me whether I've got a bf or not and when I say no, they go "Oh, that can't be true! Why is a pretty girl like you single?" Thanks for the compliment but is it illegal to be single now? Then they'll see the ring I have on my ring finger and ask me why do I have a ring then?

I guess the ring symbolizes independence to me. I've drooled over this particular ring for years (YEARS!!) but my mom won't buy it for me. And I didn't want any bf to get it for me too cz I love this ring way to much for it to be a gift from someone who I would prolly separate from later. I don't want any boys tainting this ring. Cause imagine if a guy gave it to me and we broke up. Everytime I look at the ring i'll think of him= NOT GOOD. And, this is the very first item I allow myself to indulge with my first pay check ever. So this ring means ALOT to me. Cause I want to achieve things myself and not depend on other to get it for me.

Alright, I've gotta go out for dinner now.

Lost in time

2010-04-27T17:05:00.006+08:00

Been pretty ~~lazy~~ busy these few days or weeks. My friends moved house and I got roped into helping them. Then we had a house warming party last week and I celebrated Anzac Day on sun night. I have a pretty vague idea what Anzac day is but it's smtg to do with war n shit. Well, as long as it's a public holiday and I get 2.5x pay, I don't really give a shit lol

I'm too lazy to type shit so I'll just post pictures =)

Love this bedroom set up in Ikea. Too bad I can't have it here

Best. Curry. Laksa. Ever.

Oh, oh! And I did my hair. Color and cut.

It's light brownish. Not blonde. And the last pic is my work clothes.

Look at all the shit two guys has. It's appalling.

My new Wittner heels. It cost me $150 but it's 4 inch high =) Got this cz my gladiator heels looks like it's gonna fall part. After so many nights of clubbing and jumping around and dancing and running and shopping, I'm not surprised. But that's still my fav heels tho. This heels literally kills my feet after 5 hours.

I have no idea who this girl is but she's funny. But then again, maybe we were just high that night lol cause I met them after the house warming party where we drank like fish

And yes! I finally got my ipod nano!! I got it cz my bb runs out of batt by the time I wanna go clubbing cz I use too much fb and listen to music on it.

Ahh the joys of underwater cam =) brought the small kids to go for a swim cz Tommy has been bugging me for some time now. Paid $8.50 for pool, spa and sauna. God how I miss sauna even if I prefer steam room more. This pic was suppose to show how deep the waters were 7 1/2 feet!! My feet couldn't even touch the floor if I didn't let go of the bar above waters.

Nothing really interesting going on in my life. Just the same thing over and over again. Wake up, work, go for coffee or club or bar or karaoke, sleep. And repeat. Every single day. When it's an off day, i spend one day at home and one out shopping.

Oh wait, there's this one guy I met. He's nice. Sweet. We slow danced in a middle of a club haha He wants more but too bad I'm not interested in a relationship. I tell everyone that the first time I meet them cz I don't want them to think shit. And he told me he's planning to get married by 28 (He's 22). Okaaaay. Cool.

Heartbreak and tears are not for me

2010-04-09T16:29:00.003+08:00

Been reading people's blog. WHEN I AM SUPPOSE TO BE FINISHING MY REPORT. And it seems like 3 out of 5 people are experiencing heartbreak. Read their post and it was all like "I can't live without you" or "I trusted you but this is how u repay me" or "I don't think I will ever heal from this heartache". Those positive ones are "I believe I will heal one day" or "I'll wake up one day smiling again". But when is that one day gonna arrive?

People think I am commitment phobic. That's y I'm flirty and jumps from one guy to another. I'm not. And I don't jump from one guy to another too. I just don't see a reason to trust someone so much especially if it's my heart. It's precious, bitch. I'm sick of opening up myself again and again just to be disappointed again. It's fucking exhausting. I want to be sure that there is something before I open up but that's just wishful thinking.

They say if you don't take chances you'll never know. Jump and someone will catch. But what if that someone missed? Or doesn't catch you like you expect him to? It's easier said than done. I'm someone who needs confirmation. I won't fucking jump unless i'm sure you are waiting for me with open arms. I use to take chances. I was naive an young and trusted people waaay too much. But I've learn. It's either a good thing or bad. Good cz I protect myself so much better than I had in the past. Bad cause I don't trust people or open up as easily as I did. Even if I know u have good intentions.

I once read an article bout "If you could change one thing in the world what would it be". And yeah I agree with the world peace shit and how everyone shld have the same amount of money n all, the one answer that I liked most is that "Everyone should look like Shrek or Fiona. Then when we fall in love, it'll be because of our personality and not how we look on the outside"

But in this world where we live in, no matter what everyone says, people would always get attracted physically before mentally or emotionally. If that someone falls in love with your personality too, then lucky u. If not, then it's either just a physical thing where the both of you are living in denial.

I mean, can u actually tell me that u like that guy cz he is just funny? I'm pretty sure there is just something attractive about him. Maybe it's his long, graceful fingers (I have a thing for beautiful pianist fingers lol) or it's those dreamy eyes or that strong angular jaw with a hint of stubbles or maybe he has a long lean body or a nice round ass (like that chef in Taylors!). Surely there is something that makes you attracted to him. Or else u won't even have an interest to talk. Maybe just a polite small talk but not talk talk.

Like that day, this guy (who I have NO interest in whatsoever), called me and said "Can I speak to Nicole Kidman" if it's someone else, I'll prolly answer "Speaking" just for the fun of it HAHA but then it's him, the annoying guy who annoys me with lame jokes (and it's prolly lame cz I'm not interested in him lol). And all I said was "What?" twice. And got annoyed cz he's acting so lame.

But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm odd. Nah, I don't think it's a maybe. I think I'm pretty odd in a special kind of way =)

My Fishy

2010-04-09T12:58:00.004+08:00

Dear Shinyi,

I just read your blog and I miss u tooo! I understand what u mean bout not hanging out so much and not that close anymore but there's still this bond that we share. Is like how I said best friends don't have to talk everyday or week or even month but still will fall back into place when we meet again like we were never apart. And talk bout everything and anything and laugh at all silly things. And be the noisiest people in the mamak or wherever which always makes people stare cz we talk bout inappropriate stuff loudly as well Haha

Form 4 and 5 is still one of the best time in my life. Cause we were together everyday! The one memory I had was when we were up on the 4th floor we made paper planes and flew it out and got caught by that discipline teacher who was on ground floor. And we immediately duck down and tired to "run" while squatting. HAHAHAHA U were behind me and u laughed so damn hard cz it was fucking hilarious! But we did evade the teacher in the end. (I laughed till I teared while writing this hahaha)

And yeah we named every single people who we didn't know. Like "Red Lip Guy" cz he ate the traffic light icecream the day we named him so his lips was red hahaha or "Forest" cz he had realllly hairy legs or "Char Siu" i don't rmb it was cz he looks like "Char Siu" or cz when we saw him we thought of that LOL There was this other guy, the one always with RLG n Boii Boii, the one who thinks he looks handsome. What did we name him again? I forgot lol. Oh, there was the "Forgotten Guy I, II, III and prolly IV too" cz we forgot what name we gave them haha. We had this humongous list of almost (or more than) 100 nicknames we gave people hahaha

And the Kap zhai part. We had the perfect seats at the back of the classroom to view out the back doors. And our class was in the perfect position as well. Near to the boys toilet! So every guy who needs to pee passes by our class lol But then that time our school not alot of good looking guys so kinda wasted. Ish..

Remember all those times we cheated in exams? The "signs", how we ask questions and there was this throwing rubber thing as well where we write the ques no n answer on it and used another rubber to rub it off! Hahaha Damn pak chi la. But we still passed with not bad results lol

Fishy, u don't have to regret not hanging out with me so much when I was still in msia. Cz best friends are for life. We are the Fish and the Turtle (I lol-ed when I wrote this). We don't have to see each other so often but we know that we are there for each other anywhere anytime =)

We look so dorky together hahaha

fuckingtastic easter weekend

2010-04-08T17:05:00.005+08:00

Easter Weekend was WICKED!!

Went Bass on Easter Saturday and then Colonial Hotel for Easter Sunday n boy was it fun. Well, except for the lines. It freaking sucked. At Bass, we lined up for 45mins which is not too bad but still the longest I had to wait in line to get into a club.

But at Colonial was the worst. Absofuckinglutely worse. I waited for TWOFUCKINGHOURS. Two!! I've never waited in line for anything this long. Not even if it's a freaking gucci or prada sale at 70% cz I'm just not that girl. I have zero patience. Really. The only "silver lining" of this waiting is working on resolution #6.

I went home at 10.45pm to see my friends waiting in the lobby for me. Then changed, swallowed 2 shots of bacardi (NOT 151) , my friends one each (pussies cz they are guys lol) and left at 11.20pm cz another friend was calling n calling asking me to go already.

Reached there and I almost turn around to go back home. The line was damn cibai long. I can't even describe how long cz I never got to see the end! I saw some other friends like mid way of the line n we cut in =) but still, at 11.20pm i expected the line to be not that long cz most ppl shld already be in.

At 1.20m we finally went in. And the first shot we took was ABC? and 151 i think. Dont really rmb what I drank cz it was too many. Met alot of friends from Bass there n they kept buying drinks for us cz Sat night I was one of the ones buying drinks. If I'm not mistaken, we spent most of our time on the rooftop garden where we can dance, smoke and drink there. Felt like Malaysia again. Cz u can't smoke in clubs here. Sucks. And apparently I did something which I didn't remember. Or that my friend was drunk and saw wrongly. If I did it, then the butter trick doesn't work thaaat good after all. Cz I really don't remember doing it. Hmm..

Omg shinyi, did u know William got kicked out of the club? CAUSE HE FELL ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR! Omfg, when i heard of it I laughed till my stomach hurts HAHAHAHA! Apparently, he was tired so he n Tommy sat on the floor and TERTIDUR but leaning against the wall not entirely on the floor (that's just plain disgusting lol). Then there are security guys everywhere and one of them saw them on the floor so they ask both of them to get up. Tommy got up but William didn't so those security guys asked them to leave. Cause if u are drunk they will ask u to leave.

That time I still didn't realise they were gone. I only knew after the club closed n I was trying to find them. Then Tommy called me n said they are at home. So I thought William was drunk again n Tommy brought him home n left me there with my two other friends cz he didn't want me to leave yet. But i didn't know that was the real reason! Hahaha

Pictures!

My clubbing buddies, Alan n JP. Every single sat or fri night. Never fail.

Me n Jp. N Jackie, who apparently I went for his bday this yr haha

And Shin yi, u'll love this pic. I laughed when I saw this the morning after!

With BUNNY EARS!!! hahahah
(they'll murder me if they saw this. I think)

I realised I have like a tonne of guy clubbing buddies but only one girl. Who was too sick to come on Sun night. But she was there on Sat night although slightly sick. Gonna go to her bday party next week. Provided I have pm shift on Sat.

She's cool. Funnyy lol

an extra hour of clubbbbing

2010-04-04T09:36:00.002+08:00

Like this hairstyle. But it takes 1 freaking hour to do it.

Anyway, the daylight saving thingy just ended!! Or started. Doesn't matter cause at 3am eaaaarly this morning, all clock got set back 1 hour. It means, extra 1 hour of sleep. Or for me, extra 1 hour of clubbing!! =)

It was freaking tiring last night. Clubbed (is that even a word?) for more than 6 hours. And omfg, i tried this trick my friend taught me last time to not get drunk, remember the night and no hangovers. AND IT FUCKING WORKED!! Oh, and drinking on an empty stomach as well.

I had no appetite last night besides having dinner at 5pm and I didn't want a repeat performance of last week. Where apparently, after Lavish, we went Bass. Cause my friend called me a couple of days later and asked me why I went to Bass but didn't tell him. And I said, no I was in Lavish. Long story short, my other friend also didn't remember going to Bass cz he was worst then me (he thought he lost his wallet but it was with another friend). He remembered up to a point where we were ordering setuce? seduce? some kind of pretty strong shot. At least I remember dancing on a platform/stage thingy, which was way further into the night lol

Opps, got sidetracked. Anywayy, I saw those single portion of butter and margarine in the fridge and remembered bout that trick. So I swallowed a whole portion of freaking margarine. IT WAS DISGUSTING. Cz my mind is set to repel this kind of food and I almost threw up but I didn't. But it really realllly worked. I drank alot. Wet pussies, tequilas, 151s, seduce? setuce?, gigabombs, ABCs and shit. All on an empty stomach and I remembered the night!! I even remembered telling my friend bout the day light saving shit and that he doesn't need to go work till 1 hour later, after I came back from the club.

Looks like I'll be able to keep resolution #10 after all =)

of resofuckinglutions

2010-03-29T09:19:00.000+08:00

I just broke resolution #10. I need to stop having nights like those. But then up till where I can remember, last night was fun =) Went to this club in Docklands. There were 6 of us so one of the guy sat in the car boot. Seriously. It was fucking hilarious cz we kept saying we are going to Bass (a club we go almost every sat night) instead of Lavish. And every 2 mins we asked him whether he's still alive.

I'll work on resolution #10. Eat more. Drink less. Smoke less. =)

J'apprends le Francais!

2010-03-23T12:58:00.004+08:00

J'apprends le Francais!

Thank god I went to the French centre to enroll and paid $400 for a sem before I proceeded inner into the city. If not, I'll be $400 poorer, a tonne of new clothes and with no french classes. People ask me why I wanna learn French when my mandarin is still pretty bad. It's cause I've spent 6 years, SIX YEARS, learning mandarin and I can barely read or write (only the reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy basic ones). I can only speak and listen which takes awhile cz I have to process what u are saying into English and the translate what I wanna say from english to mandarin before speaking.

So it'll be like some one asking me a question, and I'll be quiet for 5 mins (depending on how tough the question or answer is) before finally replying. In partially broken mandarin with a pretty bad pronunciation. Yes, go ahead and laugh. Shirley, Tracy and Shuyee already laugh enough to last me a life time. But I find it pretty funny too Hahah

Another reason why I wanna learn French is cz I feel pretty weird not studying. Not going to classes. Not falling asleep when the lecturer is droning on and on bout one shit or another. Not stressing out bout assignments which are due next morning ( I miss the idea of it, not the actual stressing).

I've been studying since 5 yrs old and suddenly I've got this whole year to work full time without any classes and only 4 reports to write in a yr feels pretty surreal to me. At first it's fun cz NO ASSIGNMENTS and EXAMS. But after awhile, I got bored. I mean work is fun and all but then I miss the class environment. Where we gossip and talk and laugh regardless of the lecturer in front. Where I have a blank paper in front of me and instead of taking notes, I draw and think of what tattoo I wanna do.

AND speaking of tattoos! God knows I hate it when people gets meaningless tattoo. Come on, tattoo is not a fashion trend. It's not like that skinny jeans everyone has. Or that new Burberry bag u want cz it's "in". Or that Jimmy Choo I've been crushing on cz it's hot. It's a freaking lifetime thing not a permanent marker thing.

I hate it when people get those tribal design only cz "It looks pretty". Those are the people who only want a tattoo cz they think it looks "hot" and that they are "hardcore" and very "in". Then when their friends also gets one and suddenly every other person has one, the tattoo loses it's "coolness" and all they wanna do is cover and hide it. Like that guy who wears LONG SLEEVED SHIRT in FREAKING MALAYSIA. "Cause people are judgemental" Well DUH! Since when anyone in the freaking world isn't judgemental?

Alright I'll finish ranting now. I neeeeeed to start on my report. It's due this Fri but I need to show a draft tmr morning.

Went to the ZOO! Will blog bout it next time =)

Remember Me??

2010-03-18T16:04:00.002+08:00

Went for movies on Tues.

It was quite alright. The director-Kathryn Bigelow, won Best Director in Academy Award and she's the first female director to ever won it. But watching this show made my stomach hurt. Maybe because I was tired. Or cz there were too much movement on screen. Or it was cz I just watched Remember Me before this.

Speaking of Remember Me...

I didn't realize why it was called that until the very end of the movie. It was heartbreakingly sad. And I'm a sucker for this kind of tragic romance. Anyway, overall the movie was not bad. If u are into romance and all then it's worth a shot. And honestly, the one reason why I watched this movie is cz of Rob Patt. He makes a fucking TERRIBLE Edward Cullen but a pretty hot panty-dropping bad boy.

Mmm.. I've always love bad boys. Those kind of guy who u know that will never last and would hurt you in one way or another. And yet somehow you can't stop going back to them. It's like I'm addicted to being hurt. Lol Rob looks hot cz I like guys will sharp defined angular jaws. It's sexy =) And combined with a 5 o'clock shadow (stubbles people, not a freaking beard or mustache!!) and that sex hair....

U say muum-ba, I say mam-ba

2010-03-11T12:39:00.004+08:00

Monday was Labour Day and I had PAID HOLIDAY! =) So I dragged my friends out of bed at 10am for breakkie and to watch the Moomba Parade.

Had Bavarian Apple Pancake. It was super delicious! Soft, fluffy and just perfect =)

The parade was bout 1 hour long and it was so nice. The weather was not too sunny and it was breezy. I took like 100 pics of it hahaha this is just some:

At last, CNY feel!

He's no Johnny Depp but he was pretty funny. He went like "1, 2, 3, pose!" with that constipated look lol

King and Queen of Moomba. I have no idea how they are voted to be tho.

After that we went to the carnival. Walked in the middle of the streets cz it was all closed for the parade.

Flinder's Street Station. I was standing right in the middle of the crossroad. The one place u would never have been able to take a pic on a normal day.

St Paul's Cathedral. I like how it feels so... ancient. haha

We were at the carnival looking at the rides and all. There was this petting zoo thing going on as well. I wanted to go in but the the line was freaking long. So I settled for just standing at the fences looking at the animals.

I touched a piglet!! It was so cute! I'm not gonna eat pork again. Unless forced to =)

Then it rained and we went back home. Came out again later in the evening when it kinda stopped raining cz I really wanna go play those rides. But unfortunately it rained again. And again. And again. And we were soaked. But it did stop later on and we tried to play some rides. TRIED. Cz apparently they were scared. Pussyyyy. There were 5 thrill rides there and I had to choose one. Only one. So I choose XXXL. And boy was it fun =)

XXXL

Some kind of almost-thrill-but-not-quite-there-yet ride. Cz he was afraid of HEIGHTS. So we settled for spinning around.

Next time I should bring friends who would actually drag me to play those instead of the other way round. Haha but I had fun. Watched fireworks at the end of the night. The only thing that sucked was the am shift I have nx day which means sleeping for only 3 hours.

Mr M

2010-03-09T21:07:00.001+08:00

Dear Mr M,

I knew it!! I knew u were gonna ask me to write more u attention seeking whore. That's why I purposely wrote so little haha. But that's why u are my only guy best friend =)

You are ALWAYS broke! A.L.W.A.Y.S! How many times have u said u were gonna come visit me in Melb? Too many to count. Biiiitttccchhhhh. GO SAVE MONEY and come here! =)

Anyway, I really am grateful for u ~~forcing~~ teaching me how to drink shots. I use to drink everything with mixers and u said it was "pussy" to drink like that. And now I'm impressing people by hitting shots with no lime or salt (cz u were to kiamsiap to get some last time). Remember how u used to say u have to train me more cz I get drunk easily? Well, drinking so much with u also made me so much better. I use to be able to only take like 5 shots and then i'm out. Now I can easily take more than 10 shots =) and not puke once (unless it's Bacardi 151). Best part is, I can drink waaaay better then most guys. More power to me! haha So all those nights drinking shit like the lousy ass red wine, tequila and disgusting kapak really paid off. Hahaha

And I meant what I said about how u always know how to make me laugh. Intentionally or not. Like today (well more like 2 week ago since i started writing this on 25 feb and didn't get around completing it), u said u were "down to earth". What a load of craaaaapppppp. U might not be as cocky as last time, but u are definitely never "down to earth". I like that u are so full of bullshit.

You have this "ok, let's do it" attitude that I like. If I say I wanna go ice-skating u say "let's go". If I say I wanna go Sunway Lagoon u say "Go plan". If I say I wanna go play in Genting Theme park u say"Ok, let's". That's y the pic with our "tattoo" we got from Genting is on my wall. Cz u were the only one who was will to spend money doing silly things with me. And speaking of silly things, u are the only one who would ever indulge a stupid bathing competition with me (other ppl would ask me stop being childish). AND I WON!! God u bath longer than a girl. Hahaha.

I know I can count on u if I'm ever in trouble. Well, that's what u told me la. So u better help me if I'm ever in trouble, bitch. I also like how I can trust u to take care of me when I'm intoxicated. AND NOT RAPE ME WHEN I'M DRUNK =)

U think u look hot *rolls eyes* u look alright. Not bad. Not bad.

I like u better dressing up as a girl =)

I feel like shiittt

2010-03-04T21:06:00.003+08:00

Amateur mistake. I know, I know. Which caused me to eat nothing solid for the whole twenty fucking four hours yesterday. What happened was, I drank on an empty stomach. Like I said, amateur mistake. I had dinner at 5pm then I was so crazy busy at work that I didn't feel hungry. Then I was rushing from work to home to change and I forgot bout eating. But I still manage to drink like 8 shots. And if u ask me to tell u what we sang in the karaoke bar? Sorry I forgot hahaha cz I was busy talking with someone. But I do rmb what happened and all.

Every morning after clubbing I'll make mushroom soup cz it's like my hangover cure but ystd after shoving the whole cup down my throat, I was praying to the porcelain god in 30mins. Everything that goes in my mouth, even water, comes back out. Worst part is, I've got work. But at the end of the day, I manage to keep down a hot chocolate and a lemon green tea with honey.

Anyway, pictures:

Possum. Fucking cute. But scary when they try to chase me for food.
I miss my curly hair

My fuck awesome but huge ass wardrobe. Shinyi, u and me can really sleep in there haha
Well, wall of pictures. Every picture is there for a reason =)

The 12 step recovery program

2010-02-27T17:26:00.003+08:00

Alright. So there is this 12 step program people go through to recover from alcoholism or bulimia or drugs. I have none of those. I don't drink (much), I swallow all my food and I don't do drugs.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.

I ADMIT I AM POWERLESS OVER SHOPPING (more specifically the word SALE or DISCOUNT). It's not unmanageable. Yet. But I can find every petty reason to just purchase something.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

I believe that it can be help. Now, would someone please hand over a Amex Platinium card. (it's the Greater Power)

3. .....

Well, honestly i think I got till as far as two. Cz the third till twelve step is handing myself over to God and hope he can fix me. I'm beyond repair dah-ling.

I'm getting more addicted to shopping. What's more I'm earning a pretty penny and can afford to splash out on clothes and clubs. But the thing is, I told my parents I wanna pay for my own education. So pray tell how in the world am I gonna do that when I'm shopping all the time.

It doesn't help that I got this huge ass built in wardrobe. Seriously, someone can actually sleep in it. Actually, make that two shinyi(s) hahaha I love a huge wardrobe (like Carrie's one in Sex and The City- God I could live in there for the rest of my life) but then it makes the amount of clothes I have looks so few. So I keep shopping for more clothes. I keep buying more dresses and tops and shorts and skirts. Cz I like things full.

And the clothes here are not too expensive. Well, unless I go to those super branded ones which will easily go up to $100. I got a corset (not the lingerie kind) the other day for only $70. I would have waited for it to go on sale but i've been lusting for a corset for a year now. It also doesn't help that I'm going out to clubs almost every week. All the more reason to buy more clubbing clothes =)

It also doesn't help that it's almost winter again. I NEED MORE WINTER CLOTHES! If I'm dragging my ass out of bed at 3.30am into frezzing air, I'm gonna need motivation. Which is nice winter clothes and ugg boots. So, another reason to shop haha

You know, actually I don't think I need this bullshit 12 step recovery program. What I need is someone to control my money. Like when I get my salary, someone have to transfer it to another account which I have no access to. Then just give me $50 a week and demand that I only use that for a whole week. Cz I really can. I spend like $20? on groceries and like $300 on clothes a week. Who's gonna volunteer? Cz honestly, I'm pretty sure i'll be a complete bitch towards u =)

It's time

2010-02-26T18:58:00.003+08:00

Many people don't know about this. Why am I writing this now? Cz I can't fucking sleep. AGAIN. And i've been drinking (to help me slp better) and it's been a couple of years already.

Selyna, u knew just a part of the reason why I broke up with him (if u still rmb cz it was a pretty long time ago lol). I'm an avoider/ignorer. So I don't talk bout things that hurts me. Anyway, I think in a way he is the reason why I don't want a bf now. I just can't take the emotional strain of a relationship. I like freedom. I like not having to worry about others. I like being myself without worrying what you think of me.

I don't know whether u still read my blog or not but I want to say that I cherished what we had. I really do. It started out like a fucking fairytale straight out of the story book. We were fucking great together. It would have been fucking fantastic if you didn't emotionally abuse me.

At first everything was fine. Then slowly u started changing me. Subtly and I was not even aware of it. At first it was just small things like me playing in the rain. Then it went on to things like the way I dress and how I interact with other people, especially guys. And alot of other things. Suddenly u made me feel like I'm not good enough for u. I wasn't pretty enough. I wasn't thin enough. I wasn't fair enough. I wasn't smart enough. I partied to much. I drank too much. I went out too much. And u were good. Really. U did all this without me realising it. The way u said it was so charming that I really didn't know. And I fell into your bullshit for 6 months. 6 fucking months. I really do give u credit for abusing me so long w/o me knowing. I was young. I was stupid.

But we would never ever get back together. No matter what u say. What we had was really good. But I woke up one day and ask myself why am I doing this to myself. I know I deserve better dammit. And since u, I've never had a serious bf. Yeah I had a few but no one lasted more than a month. I went on dates, I flirt with guys but I never had any intention of having a serious relationship anymore. Well, until I meet the right guy or whatever.

Which is good in a way. Cz I never want to be that girl. The girl who chooses where to study because of her bf. The girl who stayed in Msia because he is there instead of going to Australia or where ever she actually wants to. The girl whose life revolves around him and abandons most of her friends. I don't like being that girl. Sorry but my friends always comes before any boys. I would abandon my bf to go out with my besties. Cz I know after everything they are always there for me. Bf? Hmm, u've gotta convince me first.

The mother of waxing

2010-02-19T08:04:00.002+08:00

I waxed my eyebrow. Omg, it was.... not as painful as i expected it to be but to wax under the arch was a bitch cz it's so near the eyes. But I got a free "makeover" which was actually just some concealer to cover the redness, and then foundation and loose powder n all. I love the Benefit Moon Beam Illuminator. Might just get that =)

It took me a few days if not weeks to find a freaking brow bar in melbourne. I miss msia where everything is so familiar. Like if I wanna get my brows done, I'll just go to summit. It's so different here. People ask me to go to chinatown to get it done and I said NO WAY. It may be cheap but I don't wanna end up with ah ma kind of brows thankyouverymuch. I rather pay more and go to a professional brow bar.

And this "Only-to-get-my-brows-done-and-go-to-bank" trip caused me $140! No, it didn't cost $140 to wax my brows. It was just $25 but then I went there w/o appt so they asked me to wait for 20mins. And somehow, in 20mins, I manage to buy 2 handbags, clothes, lace gloves and hairspray. In twenty fucking minutes! God, I think I'm getting worse as I age. But it's cool, I don't get to shop often so it's a plus right?

Mr M the attention seeking whore

2010-02-18T15:26:00.002+08:00

Dear Mr M,

You are such an attention-seeking whore. How many times have u asked me to blog about u? So since I'm feeling ~~bored~~ generous today, I'll dedicate this post to u. Thanks for teaching me how to drink "like a pro". If it weren't for u, I don't think I'll be hitting shots back "like a pro". Haha I like that you are funny and always know how to make me laugh with your cocky attitude and larger than life ego. Although sometimes u just annoy the crap outta me but don't ask why I still put up with ur shit. Cb, I miss u too.
Don't ever change u cocky bitch. =)

Be my valentine?

2010-02-15T20:29:00.002+08:00

Since is Valentines Day and it's about relationships, love, roses, chocolates and balloons. There's something I need to get off my chest.

Dear Mr A,
You have to stop hinting that you wanna get back together. Cause I don't think I will. What we had between us was good but abusive. Emotionally at least. You kept saying I was never good enough for you then so what makes you think I am now? I'm still not perfect nor I will ever be.

Dear Mr B,
We are really great friends. Everyone knows it and some even says we are together when we are actually not. We always had "more" within reach but never did anything about it cz we are really comfortable with just being like that. So you have to stop hinting you want more. Cz now we are so far apart and I really treasure our friendship. I don't want to ruin it. So let's just stay as friends alright?

Dear Mr X, Y and Z,
NO. I don't want a freaking boyfriend. It's not you, it's me. I don't want any attachments. I treasure my freedom. I hate the emotional strain of a relationship. I am commitment phobic. I don't do long distance. There's no spark between us. These are my reasons, so take a pick. Stop asking me whether I got a bf or not and when I say no, don't ask me whether you can be one. Cz, the answer is always no. Stop harrasing me on msn and facebook. It's not appreciated.

And I would like to thank all my past bf. You guys had a part in making me who I am today. I'm better, stronger and not easily hurt since I first started my journey in this "world of love" 8 years ago. So HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!

Cny and valetines in a day

2010-02-14T20:46:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year and Valentines Day biaytch!!

Went clubbing last night and it was quite alright. Drank Bacardi 151 Mmmmm~ But only took one shot of that cz I don't dare to try another one. Lol Anyway summary of last night: lost a earring (why do I always lose smtg when I club here?), was very SOBER and slightly buzzed and got a sore throat cz i talked too much. Met my friend's friend's friend (I know, it's a lil complicated) and we started talking the whole night. First time since a long time I really really talked to someone. It was very... enlightening haha

Had work today and thank heavens it's afternoon shift. But it was really really really SLOW. Had 10 guest only. Fucking TEN. I almost stab myself with the pen just to stay awake. And it doesn't help that I only slept for 3 hours. I BLAME HILTON MORNING SHIFT! It made me so fucking healthy. I sleep at 8 or 9pm and wake up at 3.30am. On my off days, I wake up at 7am cz I CAN'T SLEEP ANYMORE. Latest I will wake up is 9am.

And now it almost 12 and my eyes are barely open. So, JOJO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I don't think u read my blog though lol

My to-do list in Malaysia

2010-02-05T12:41:00.002+08:00

They say it's fucking summer in Melbourne. But it was 20 degrees today. SO, is it still considered as summer?? The weather here is seriously nuts. One day it's over 40 degrees and all i feel like doing is sitting in a tub of ICE. Then the next day, it can be 25 which is alright provided it's not windy. But cold and rainy and windy is good. Not so good when i have to get up fucking early but good cz it's way better than sunny and hot and dry and sweaty.

So i think i confirm will go back msia end of this year. I've already thought of what i wanna do when i go back. First thing first, shopping. CAUSE I FUCKING MISS SHOPS WHICH ACTUALLY HAVE MY SIZE. I hate to shop here cz 7/10 times, I can't find my size. It's damn cibai ANNOYING. Like maxi dress. I went over 15 shops in a day and tired countless dresses and none of them fit well as the smallest they usually have is size 8 (which i still have no idea whether is a S or M).

Then I wanna go clubbing. I was going through some pics ystd and i really miss DENISE!! I wanna go club with u!! And we syok sendiri again. Clubs here got different feel. Maybe cz u're not here =( And I no clubbing kaki here also. My friends are fucking TOO GOOD. Like wtf-are-you-serious kind of GOOD. Except for 2 but then I want girl clubbing kaki. I miss getting drunk. Ok, correction, I don't miss getting drunk. I miss getting high with my besties where we will cam whore with stupid smiley drunk faces.

Then I wanna go vacation if i got time. I wanna go to some island. Like Langkawi to get drunk and high 24/7 and smoke like a fucking chimney =) Or like my sis said Bali and Phuket to.... erm, sunbathe? And maybe to singapore cz my sis is finally legal to club and i wanna try singapore clubs like the hospital themed one. But other than clubbing i have no idea what i wanna do in spore. Sunbathe again?? I'll turn cibai BLACK if i sunbathe too damn much.

Then I wanna go yumcha. With every single friend I know. Ok, maybe not every cz i can't be bothered with all. LoL I wanna fucking sit at mamak from evening till nx morning just for the fun of it. And drink a ton of LIMAU AIS till I have to fucking pee every 5 mins. I'm gonna sit till my ass hurt and laugh till my stomach aches and ignore people looking at us like some jakun cz we talk too loud and laugh too loud. Then go home smelling like cigg and ayam bakar. And if in Tanjung, chau kuey teow.

And I wanna get another tattoo. No idea where and what yet but I still have over 10 months to decide. And pierce my stomach again. To pierce here is $80 and in msia is RM80. Of course I will go back msia to do it. No point spending RM240 for a piercing right?

So far that's all I can think. Need to sleep now if not I'll sleep through my alarm tmr.

To go or not to go?

2010-01-21T07:48:00.003+08:00

Work started again, which explains my absence. Routine of waking up at 3.20am then walking to the hotel at 3.40am (cz it takes me roughly an hour- one of the reason why i'm called turtle) then working non-stop till 1.30pm to finally come home and drop dead. Cz no matter how many times i try i can never sleep at 8pm and wake up at 3am. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I sleep at 8 then i wake up at 11 feeling like i just took a nap AND I CAN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP till 1am. Which SUCKS. Afternoon shift is so much more normal cz it starts at 2pm. But i only got a few of those cz my manager prefers to put me in the mornings. Damnnn

I told my mom I was planning to go back msia this dec for maybe a month depending on whether i can get an extra 2 weeks off from work and the first thing she said was "You come back do what?". And i was stunned. Cz seriously, i go back msia do what??

What i miss in msia in the company i had. Denise, Shinyi, Selyna, Shirley and a few more friends.
I miss clubbing in msia. Actually i think what i miss is the company i had.
I miss the familarity of the area and people i know.
I miss Tanjung or AC or where ever we usually go yumcha. I miss the idea of yumcha. The feeling of yumcha here is totally different. CZ THERE IS NO LIMAU AIS.
I miss the food. But only sometimes cz.. LONG STORY. (It's for another time and i might not even post it)

I might even miss my family. Actually i do miss them . Is just that when i'm far away, our relationship tend to be better. ALOT BETTER. We don't argue as much as when i'm staying at home. But what i HATE is when i call back, they do talk and ask how am i and shit, then they will complain. My mom will complain bout my dad. And my dad will complain bout my mom and sis. And my sis will complain bout my dad. It's like a fucking circle. With no ending.

I mean seriously. I've been told several times that i'm a good listener. But there is also a certain level of "listening" right? I don't tolerate ppl bitching bout someone close to me or is a good friend. Go bark at someone else thankyouverymuch. Unless the person we're talking bout is someone i dont excatly like also, then i definitely can bitch with u. I'll even curse their great grandchildrens if that makes you happy. But whatever la. I listen and i'll puke every word back out. No point trying to help if they themselves don't wanna change.

Oh! And i realised that my bb is like my main communication system. Cz ppl can reach me through 2 email address (more if i want), facebook, msn, bb messenger and the number it self. Can use twitter and myspace and skype and yahoo messenger and google talk too. But no point installing those cz i only know 3 ppl using skype, no one using myspace, yahoo msg and google talk and ppl hardly ever update their twitter (inc me).

But if you ask me why i dont communicate more with people back home, i got no answer. Or i do. Maybe it's cz i'm not that type of girl who really spends time in communicating and building relationships. Seriously. Ask my past bfs, i think they will say the same. I don't like recieving calls and messages constantly. I get annoyed. I communicate only once a while. And that is with people i really do care about (Like that girl who is gonna airmail COOKIES to me for cny!!! Love you la!).

Or maybe it's cz i believe if we really are great friends, we don't need to constantly communicate with each other. Cz to me, no matter how long we didn't talk, when we do meet each other again, we would fall back into the same comfortable routine we had before. Like it never changed. Still joking, laughing and talking crap. So if I don't call or msg u much, know that i really do think of you. It's just that I'm too lazy to call or msg or msn or fb u. You know me, i'm one lazy bitch =)

It may seems harsh but i really did forget some people back home. I was going through my friends list in fb and i realised i dont know alot of ppl until i clicked their profile and went "Oh.. Is that girl/guy from (the place)" or I'll ask my friend and they'll be like "There, rmb that time we go (the place)? Is that girl/guy la!" Sorry la, but they might be unimportant in my life that's why i dont rmb them. But mostly they are just passing friends. Somewhat like acquaintance where the dictionary define it as "A person known to one but not usually a close friend" So there, i don't feel guilty.

But no worries, I still remember all those who i really do care about =)

Crapalicious new year

2010-01-01T18:20:00.003+08:00

HAPPY CRAPALICIOUS NEW YEAR!!

Im still feeling the effects of last night. What a way to start the new year. Feeling like CRAP.
Last night was bad. Real baaaaad.
I was suppose 2 go watch fireworks but then heavy rain so ended up going to a club instead. And it was k-pop night. Tons of koreans but the club not full. And i went there after 12. Drank 151 bacardi and it was good cause it's over 70%. But the effects? Not so good. I have no memories of leaving the club. None. But i woke up alone in my bed so it's all good Lol
Another good news? I didn't smoke last night! Woohoo! But i did smoke 2 sticks before i went clubbing la cz it was left over from xmas eve party. So no point wasting right? =)

And so xmas has passed

2009-12-28T19:55:00.005+08:00

Merry belated Xmas!

And Happy New Year's Eve!!

A musical xmas show in Crown Hotel Casino.

Had a great Xmas eve in CQ. A club in Melb. Summary of the night: drank 11 shots (3 gigabomb, 1 black sambucca, 4 tequila shots, 2 strongest campari called citrus? and 1 shot with 3 different liquer which the bartender simply poured cz i said i want smtg strong), danced till my legs hurt, met & danced with a korean girl and her friend, got hit on at the bar by someone called "My name is Sonic, double C", barely remembered walking out of the club, fell down once while walking back and argued with my friend that we were going the wrong way. And i didn't even puke once =)

Black Sambucca. Taste like cough mixture. Sweet and sticky and black and realllly hard 2 swallow. But it was goooood.

Had a productive boxing day too. Shopped for 8 hours at 2 1/2 shopping malls. 2 1/2 cz one of the shopping mall is not really considered as one. So it's half. Haha. Spent almost $300. If my mom know, she'll have a heart attack cz it's RM1000. But i had fun! It's been awhile since i really went on a shopping spree. Bought a ton of things including this yellow sunglasses and big black rose cz i lost mine in the club.

Bought earrings also eventhough i SWORE i wouldn't buy anymore once my earring hanger is full and believe me it's overflowing now. But how can someone sane not buy it when it's only $5 a pair???? And the original price is around $15? You have to be nuts to pass this offer =)

And this is what happens when you bring 2 SMALL KIDS 2 go shopping with you =)

Our (or maybe it's just me) very first satay in Melbourne! But so so ni la. Eating in Kopitiam made me miss msia food la. And the company i had in msia. We were banned from sunway kopitiam! Haha i'm surprised there were no posters of us the in the hall of ~~shame~~ fame LOL

Summer colours

2009-12-24T08:09:00.008+08:00

It's been a while since i update cz 1. no time, 2. busy moving new house, 3. new house internet haven set up yet, 4. no time, 5. busy working and 6. no time. So there, 6 excuses. Haha. Oh, and a word of warning, this is gonna be a freaking long post with a ton of pics. (If i that semangat 2 type everything in one go la cz i've been abandoning ffnet for a few weeks and it's killing me)

So first things first, i'm on a holiday! A holiday from uni and Hilton. Cz the lounge is closing for 2 1/2 weeks till 11th Jan nx yr. it's good and bad. Good cz i finaly got time 2 do things and rest. Bad cz no $$ and no $$ means no shopping =(

But i love working at the lounge. Yes it's tiring cz i have 2 wake up at freaking 3.30am if i work morning shift and mostly i do everything alone and wearing a suit to do it. But it's fun working there. I love talking 2 the guest. There's this one guest who stayed at the hotel for almost 4 months and he's damn adorable. He reminds me of a hamster. Don't ask why. Maybe it's the way he eats and talks and all. Hahhaha. And the ppl i work with are so fun. Especially my manager. We have this handover book where we write info to pass to the nx shift and she always writes it with tons of smiley faces. Damn funny la. And she's real nice too. I dont feel like she's my manger. She feels more like a friend. Same as my front office manager. In the other hotel i work, front office managers are like ppl you should avoid incase u get in trouble but here is not like that. I even got a xmas present from them =)

Pics of the lounge. There's the buffet area and small kitchen but i lazy wanna upload la. Too many pics

View from the 18th floor

AIR BALLOONS!! at 5.30am

I went to the Xmas party as well. It was a Bollywood theme but then i didn't bother dressing up in bollywood styled. I just went in a new dress i bought. Lol and it was quite alright although many ppl didn't come. My manager damn semangat dress up in a sari. And the highlight of the night? Seeing my FO manager dancing! Freaking hilarious man! He danced not bad la but still, to see him everyday in the hotel with a suit with a kinda serious face on, dancing? Me and my collegue laughed like hell and we drank a ton of champagne. 2 of us finished 2 bottles. Yum =) Wanted 2 drink more but then I got the 5am shift nx day so can't.

Ok, so i wrote half way and went out clubbing last night hahaha. It was gooood and i'll blog bout it tmr i or later at night i guess. And i'm so god damned sleepy and tired now and i can't SLEEP!! I blame the morning shift at Hilton for making me so freaking healthy.

My new house =)

B-E-A-C-H baby!!

A dead jellyfish

An alive one in the sea. Apparently they are harmless and is everywhere in the sea.

Tang Yuan dinner

Which summer colour should i get? I like all except the purple one but it's pricey to get all 4.

but damn, it's all worth it!

2009-12-06T22:16:00.002+08:00

Word of the day (actually weekend): TIRED

Freaking tired. Worked 3 back to back shift. 40+ hours without a wink of sleep. Drank tons and tons of coffee to keep me running. And when i finally slept, i was slightly late for work cz i couldn't wake up. Lol

It all started on fri. Went to Hilton to sign my employment letter and some paperwork. And they actually pay for the 2 hours i was there signing paperwork! lol Then i had work in the bistro after that till 2am. And a 6am shift the nx morning at Hilton till 2 pm followed by a 6pm-1am shift back at the bistro. Once i came back i crashed till i woke up late for my evening shift at the bistro.

This is still alright. Next week is the real horror. It's not cz i'm working everyday. It's cz i got 4 days of double shifts at different places. Especially wed and thurs cz i got 5am-2pm shift at Hilton followed by 6pm-12/1/2am shift at the bistro. Fri and sat not too bad cz only got 5 hrs shift each day in the morning then evening shift in the bistro. Although i'm only part-time in Hilton, i got full-time shifts cz they wanna train me to take a full-time shift in jan once the lounge re-opens. Woohoo!

And the reason why i'm still working at the bistro cz there's a hot guy working there. A seriously hot guy. The drop dead gorgeous kind. The hotter version of Rob Pattinson kind. Damnnnn. Hahaha! No la. Well, the guy is part of the reason but the real reason is cz the Hilton lounge will close for 2 weeks during xmas and the bistro is under staffed now. So i feel bad if i leave them hanging ezpecially when they dont have enough people and i want to work during the 2 weeks "break".

So all i have to do now is balance these 2 jobs for another 2 1/2 weeks and i'll be fine. And it's tough balancing between both of it. Cz i can't say no to Hilton cz they are training me to take the full time position which is what i want. But i also cant say no to the bistro cz it's december=tons of function and not enough staff. That's y i pull 8 hrs shift in the morning and 6 hrs shift at night.

But it's all worth it. =)

And it still feels sureal that i got the Hilton job! And best part is i got it on my own without uni's help (not that they help much). And they got tons of benefits! They got this "Be A Guest" program where I get to stay one night in the hotel with comp bfast and dinner in the 4th/5th month and all i have to do is fill in a feedback form. Nice~! And i get 2 days off weekly with 4 weeks annual leave. 4 weeks! and i'm only a part-timer there now.

And it's so damn relaxing working in the lounge. I get to eat good food and there is no pressure like in the bistro. All i have to do is make sure there is enough supplies in the lounge and chat with the customers.

But one thing i dont like is the uniform! Dont get me wrong, the uniform is nice and professional looking cz it's a blazer and skirt but then they dont have my size. Their smallest is a size 8 and it's still huge. But for now they dont have a size 8 so i'm wearing a size 10 and i feel like a little girl wearing her mother's clothings. Seriously. It's pissing me off that it's like that everywhere. Why can't they have uniforms from size 4/6 onwards? Sometimes i feel like getting fatter so i can fill in the clothes nicely. Cz it sux that the clothes are too loose and ppl who can fill their clothes out nicely looks really nice.

I have got to sleep already. If not i can't wake up tmr. Lol

PS: "Why A stay fo far away from u? hahi hahi hahi." Thanks for making me laugh till i cry! hahahah (no one will understand this joke unless u are denise and shinyi lol)

Hil fucking ton!

2009-12-03T13:16:00.003+08:00

HILTON.

HIL-fucking-TON. I can't fucking believe i got the job!!
*does the happy dance*

Cz they said they would call me last week and they didn't call so i assumed i didn't make it. But they call today at 1pm, waking me up from my sleep (i know, i slept at 5am so sue me). And my first thought was who the hell calls people in the morning cz i didn't realised it was already 1pm Lol. Then she told me she was from Hilton HR and i immediately sobered up, not that i was drunk the night before or anything. And she said they are hiring me! ME! Woohoo!!

Gosh, there are plenty of benefits working in Hilton. First, it's a 5 stars hotel. At least i think so la. If not also 4 stars. Which i gooood cz to work in other 5 star hotel u need experience in a 4-5 star hotel first.
Then if i work more than 3 months, i can join Hilton membership and get discounts in every single Hilton hotel throughout the freaking world on room and f&b. Dont know how cheap la, but that's beside the point.
Then, Hilton is a very 'employee' org, cz they have tons of trainings for employees to improve their skills and all so i have the options to switch department later on if i want.
And i'll be working in the executive lounge! A mixture of f&b and front office with check ins and outs. It might be a lil tough cz i have to rmb guests names and all cz it's a very personalized service and i am terrible with names! Seriously, ask me to name everyone in my class now and i can name maybe a handful only. And i have been studying with them since July. But besides that, this is good cz I can get front office and f&b experience so i have an option of choosing which dept i prefer more.

All thanks to my receptionist job in KL la. And that 2 weeks training in Meritus Club where i dragged my sorry hungover ass off the bed at 5am to work. Although it's only 2 weeks and i spent most of my time chatting and playing sudoku and reading newspaper and drinking freshly blended juice and stuffing my face with good food, but at least i know how things work in an executive lounge =)

At first i thought my resume damn rojak. Cz i work more than 1 1/2 yr as a receptionist and then i got less than 6 months f&b training and i was looking for f&b position. But turn out pretty well i guess. Although it is just part-time, but it's good. Cz the executive lounge closes for 2 weeks during xmas and NYE so i can continue working in the bistro. And the manager said i can work my schedule around to make it fit. And if i do good, i might get a full-time position. So we'll see how it works out then.

Bir-th-da-y-sss

2009-11-29T22:55:00.005+08:00

It started with wine and ended with more wine. The first birthday since 17 (which btw is still my fav bday ever) i didn't drink hard liquor. But i drank tons of wine. Sweet wine, sauvignon blanc, merlot, chardonnay and cabernet sauvignon. It was gooood. And it was all free! Cz i had an event on 28th and there were boxes of wine from the function so we opened it and drank lol and i had work 2day also so after work we took some wine as well. I didn't really like wine back in Msia but i'm getting used to drinking it here cz u can find wine everywhere lol

It's kinda hard to believe that i'm finally 19. It feels like i've been waiting forever to turn 19. Don't even mention 21. Maybe it's cz everyone around me is over 20 and in uni and work they are at least 22 and above (most of them are 24-25). So it kinda sux being the youngest one everywhere and everytime. But to be honest i've never "acted my age" probably cz i'm always surrounded by people older than me so i tend to be more "mature". I know, so full of shit hahaha. But it really feels surreal that i'm 19 cz i don't feel like i'm 19 at all.

And thanks everyone for the birthday wishes! And i do mean E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Facebook gave me a freaking scare. Cz even people i don't know wished me (don't ask how the hell they ended up in my friend's list). And those who were in the same secondary school with me but never NEVER talk b4 also wished me. But i still appreciate it so thanks.

And Selyna! We will definately go to the smtg-point (i forgot what is it called d lol ampang?) when i get back. We'll reserve the deck and sit the whole freaking day there till those ppl are annoyed by us and pray that we are leaving soon haha. Thanks for calling me all the way from msia and talking to me for almost an hour. Must have cost a fortune. You really are a one-of-a-kind friend. And i'm not saying that just cz u spend a fortune on calling me. Hahha it's cz u really are =)

LIM SHIN YI

Affectionally known as Fishy. Small but loud. And freaking funny. Not to mention full of nonsense too. I have known u since form 4 and u had made me laugh every freaking day. And I am proud (and happy) to call this crazy girl my best-est friend.

Happy 20th Birthday Fishy!!

2006

2007
2009

I know u'll ask me to take the pics down but I WON'T! Hahaha And i love u the way u are. Fuck those who can't accept it, they don't deserve to be your friend. Don't ever change babe =) xoxo

it's time for celebration

2009-11-22T09:38:00.002+08:00

Last paper tmr! =)

It's already nearing the end of exam week and i still don't feel like in exam mood. Usually in exam mood i eat tons of chocolates and cookies (cz u need brain food if u're using so much brain power) and study my ass off trying to memorize diagrams and definitions. I think it's cause i'm busy with work (and balancing between 2 of it) and going for late night drinks after work, going for interview again in Hilton (which i hope they will call me sometime nx week) and on top of it worried bout my grandma.

And she's fine. At least that's what everyone is telling me and i don't know they're telling me that cz it's exams and they want me to concentrate or what but i choose to believe it. To believe that she's really fine. My sis told me she had a "very very very minor stroke so don't jump on the next plane back". And my mom told me she is "fine, complaining that the bed and pillow are too hard and food is terrible" and that she has to go for brain scan cz there are some dark spots, possibly blood clot cz she fell down quite a lot of time. But blood clots are nothing to be worried about right? I mean u can just take med to dissolve it right? And the doctors thought they were abusing her cz she had tons of bruises due to falling down cz she was weak. I can imagine what my aunts would say Lol

I feel terrible that i can't visit her. It's such a pain in the ass to be so fucking far and not able to do anything. Except worry.

Worst fear ever

2009-11-15T20:06:00.005+08:00

This is exactly what i've been afraid of. I everytime i leave KL, this is the exact thing i'm damn fucking worried of. Langkawi was just 3 months and 1 hour flight away and so was Redang. But now, i'm so freaking far away and i didn't see her for months and i'm worried sick. Until everytime i think about it i can't help but expect the worst and get reminded all over again of smtg that happened not too long ago.

Media paper is tmr and i can't freaking concentrate on my notes. I keep thinking bout it every 2 seconds. I keep telling myself that i'm probably overthinking things and that everything would be fine but it's not. No matter how many time i tell myself that, it's not fucking fine unless i see her myself. And now, i've been told she went into the hospital. But they don't know what's wrong yet. And there's nothing i can do except pray. Pray that she's really fine . Pray that she's weak cz she hasn't been eating well. Cause she's damn healthy. She's not sick or anything. And i just don't understand why. I don't know what happened.

You know the feeling where you are in a dark room with not even a silver of light and you're fumbling around looking for a switch, a way out. That's exactly how i feel. I want to see her so badly and i have not even the faintest idea what is actually going on. All i know is she's weak, she fell down alot and now she under observations in the hospital. And i don't like being in the dark. I fucking hate the dark. You should know i even sleep with a fucking night light. I'm this close to jumping on the next plane back to msia.

I love u

I've already lost one this year and i'm definitely not gonna lose another one.

decisions, decisions

2009-11-14T08:58:00.004+08:00

Finally handed in my LAST assignment of this sem! It's time to celebrate baby!
*Does my victory dance*
But damn, i still got exams and next monday is the 1st paper. Best part? I haven even open the book, much less start studying. It's not that i'm lazy or anything (ok, so maybe it is because i'm lazy), but i don't have time! Can't study 2day cz got work so tmr only i can start studying. And it's forced cz i got a 'study date' which usually is full of chips, gossip and chatter. Which means basically everything but studying.

My 1st saman ever. I didn't get one in msia b4. And i got this cz i didn't use the ticket on the tram lol (Shit, i just realised it's like rm500+) And it's due on a friend's bday. Yes, i still rmb ur bday after all this years =)

And my 1st paycheck (which will be used to pay for the said saman) But i'm not working for this restaurant anymore.

Currently i'm working in a french bistro (and i use the term bistro lightly cz it's a full ledged fine dining complete with silver service). Suddenly i'm flooded with choices of where to work. Shld i continue in the French bistro? Or a high-class Shanghai restaurant specializing in fine dining and banquet? Or the famous restaurant by the lake where i can gain experience working in a cafe, banquet, restaurant and a bar? Or the Hilton hotel where it would be a mix between f&b and front office?

I hope i get the Hilton Hotel one cz i'll be working in an executive lounge. It'll be like Langkawi all over again! Ignoring the fact that i have to start work at 5am though. But then, if i can do it in langkawi, especially after drinking and rolling in sand at 2am then waking up at 4.30am, bathing and running there while trying to tie my hair, i'm pretty sure i can do it here. =)

Can't wait till exams are over. i wanna go the the beach dammit!

hot hot hot! CIBAI HOT

2009-11-10T15:09:00.002+08:00

The weather is killing me. Damn cibai hot all of a sudden. It's like one day is 17 then 20 then suddenly jump up to 30. THIRTY! And today is 34! Fuck the weather. All of a sudden i damn miss winter. I rather freeze my ass off than melt. And i'm not even standing under the sun. This is ridiculous man. It feels like it's waaaaay hotter than Msia. Probably cz i was finally getting use to the cool weather here and not suddenly it's SCORCHING hot.

The only good thing about this is i can finally put away all my jackets, wear shorts and can still feel my legs. And bath ice cold water. So damn lucky my hse got ice cold water. The kind where it's cold until it actually hurts to stand under the shower for long. And it makes me wanna bath every single second. But i too lazy. Hahha

Exams are next week. Still got one more report to write. And I am doing everything but that. Lucky it is only 3 papers and if not mistaken, 2 should be pretty easy *crosses fingers*. IF i got study la. If not then i doubt so. I know i shld finish my report so i can concentrate on studying but i just can't seem to concentrate. Damn

Oh, and i went Melbourne Aquarium with some friends. Damn cibai boring man. They got cat fish there. CAT FISH. The kind i eat in chinese restaurants. Either deep fried or steamed. Damn, i feel like eating one of those now. Such disappointment. Aquaria in KLCC is way better than this. The whole aquarium i only saw 1 turtle. Damn kesian the turtle. And there's snake as well. Not sea snake, but some kind of land snake. What the hell was it doing there? Then they got this area called billabong or smtg where they feed the fishes and all. I damn excited thought is some exotic sea fishes but mana tau, it's those cat fish and bawal putih and all.

The only good thing i like there was the penguins. Damn bloody cute. Can see them swimming and sliding and walking and eating and shitting. They shit all over the ice so it's kinda disgusting but once u look pass that, damn they're adorable. I'll upload pictures erm, some time soon. It's still in the cam and i'm too damn lazy now.

I think aust is making me lazy! Or was i already this lazy back in msia??
And that sampat in singapore. It was wonderful talking to u. U always know how to say those sampat things and make me laugh even when i was having a bad day haha

Off days for cinderella

2009-10-31T15:46:00.003+08:00

Happy Halloween people!
And denise, i want to see pictures of ur costume!! I can kinda imagine it but i still wanna see it lol

The weather here is getting warmer. I love and hate it. Love it cz it's warmer than winter (no need jackets! Yay!). But hate it cz it's a little too warm for me. I guess humans (me especially) are hard to satisfy. But then again, I'm one picky bitch and is hardly ever satisfied. I have a craving of challenging things which explains why i bounce from one thing to another. But sometimes all i wanna do is bury myself in my blankets and sleep forever cz i'm feeling a little too lazy. Come on, even cinderella has her off days.

On a totally different topic. Cz i typed that like hours ago but forgot to post it =)

I just wanna state that i, Ho Carmen, absolutely hate summaries! Ask me to write 2000 words essay? No problem (if i got tons of points and is motivated enough), cz i can seriously crap a lot. But ask me to summarize a 6 page article with microscopic writings into only 300 words? One word. IMPOSSIBLE. I suck at finding main points and condensing the essay especially if the topic is bored like shit. I just can't do it! Even in form 5 i can barely do it. A few times i almost fail cz i totally missed the main points haha But damn, i really hate summaries. Thank god i only got one this sem (and hopefully the last one in this whole course).

Weird strange males

2009-10-25T23:22:00.003+08:00

I find guys weird. Not all guys, just some of them. I don't get it. Why tell me you like me after i've left msia? What's the point you telling me actually u liked me in Taylors but then thought i got bf or don't dare to tell me (coward) and tell me now? Is there a point? Cz it's not like u're gonna come here (even if u do, i doubt it's gonna work cz there's no chemistry at all) and i'm sure as hell not gonna go back msia for you. Duh! So just stop asking me whether i got bf here or not and whether you still got chance. Cz the answer is no. No, u don't have chance. There is slim chance and no chance. You fall in the NO chance category. Na da.

And please! Stop telling me you miss me and expect an answer! I don't know you! AND you don't know me! How the hell can i miss someone i don't know or is not close with?? Stop asking "you got miss me anot?" cz i'll forever answer no. NO i DONT miss u!

I swear some guys are so weird. It's like when they tell u they actually like u, and then a switch inside them flips and words like dear darling baby honey and shit starts spewing out. Like WORD VOMIT. And all of a sudden he starts saying he misses and loves u. Hello, wake up la please. I barely know u. You barely know me except u saw me in college. We're not even in the same batch and i don't think i've spoken more than 10 sentences with you!! So don't go start saying shit like that. It makes me feel.. actually, words can't describe how i feel. Disgusted is an understatement.

stupid stupid reading list!

2009-10-24T21:12:00.003+08:00

I damn semangat wanna do my ~~accumulated~~ weekly assessments. DAMN CIBAI SEMANGAT. But then right, god decided to play with me. I had fun god, really. I even played a few games and chatted with some friends. But please! PLEASE give me the internet connection to get my reading list for the god damned assessments!! Why of all the pages to have a connection problem u choose that page?? Why??

I damn semangat (almost) finish 10 weekly assessments for events and now i can't do media! And i can't do another 100+ questions and more than 9 readings plus finish up the little part (ok, maybe it's not so little, but that's not the point) i missed in events to hand in on friday! This is what i get for procasinating. If only i spend 2 hours every week to do it then i sure damn free now. Why la i so lazy? No, the real question is why am i such a procasinator?? But i learn my lesson d! I will never procasinate anymore, if i can help it. So please, please give me the readings!

All i need in this life of sin

2009-10-19T21:46:00.003+08:00

I'm suppose to be doing my media presentation slides and questions but i suddenly got the urge to blog and i can't think of anything to write. So i'll just ramble what's on my mind.

In less than a month my exams are coming. Although only 3 papers, I still damn worried. Cz i didn't exactly pay attention in class. At all. All i know is for Media and Events paper got like 50 mcqs (MCQ!! i love mcqs) and 3 short essay. Don't even talk bout OB. I barely passed the essay cz i don't know how to write a referenced essay at all. Thanks Taylors, thanks alot for not teaching me that and sticking to form 5 essay style. But luckily after almost failing one essay, i managed to score quite well for the other 3 subjects. And now i hope i got my report format correct.

And what's so surprising that English is my first language? It's like everywhere i go, people i meet tells me my english is good and ask me how long have i learnt it. And when i tell them it's my first language and i speak it more than chinese they go like "Are you serious?" Hello, not all msian are english stupid ok? Don't assume that msians don't know english cz there are people who's english is their second or third language and can't speak properly even if their life depends on it. There are people who are actually fucking great in english and speaks it fluently. So thank fucking god i went to a malay school instead of a chinese one. I would have gone to a chinese school if it wasn't full and the headmaster wanted a bribe. Hahaha. If not, i'm pretty sure chinese would be my first language and i might totally suck in english.

Ok, i'm gonna youtube awhile then try to finish my presentation. I hope.

It's different this time.

2009-10-10T21:40:00.003+08:00

Times flies. Like damn fucking fast. It feels like i just arrived Melb a couple of weeks ago when it's already 3 months and my exams are coming soon. The reason why i suddenly realize that time flies is cause i just called back home and my dad told me he misses talking with me. He actually said he miss talking to me. And i feel guilty. Cause i don't call home much. I mean, I barely speak to my family when i was in msia cz i was always going out and i stayed in Ridzuan and i had all those trainings. It's like we drifted apart ever since i went to Langkawi. Sometimes i felt like a stranger in the house. Like i don't belong there. Other times i just can't stand the anger, the hostility in the house. That's y i was absent most of the time.

It's still weird to talk to my parents. I sometimes still feel like a stranger to them. Akward conversations and shit. Our family is the kind of family where we sweep things under the rug. You can't see it, but it's definitely there. Like a fucking pink elephant in the room. But no one ever acknowledge it. Unless one of us couldn't stand it or the elephant just got too huge to even breathe anymore. We don't sit down and share heart-to-heart. Hell, we don't even sit down for a proper family meal. At least no without someone blowing up or in a bad mood or just feeling plain bitchy. The only time we sit for dinner is during cny and that's because it is expected of us. Like we put on a show to tell people we're a fucking normal family.

I keep reminding myself that i'm no longer in msia. Cz this time is not like when i was in Langkawi or Redang where i can just take a 1 hr flight back home. They did called my constantly in Langkawi, at least for the first few weeks cz it my first time away from them for months but after that the calls got lesser and lesser and in Redang i don't think there were more than 10 calls in total. Frankly speaking, i didn't really notice at all. Cz i was having too much fun. And totally forgot. Feel like i'm a bad daughter lol but sometimes i just don't realize how much my actions can hurt people.

My godfather once said that I am someone who can live alone in another place and not be homesick. I thought he was joking but after Langkawi, i believed him. Cz i didn't even feel homesick. Not even for one second. Well, maybe it was caused by the amount of alcohol i consumed on a daily basis and shit but in redang the same thing happened (and i didn't drink all the time there). Another friend told me that people like us, if we were force to leave everything and everyone we love behind one day, we would do just fine. And i can't help but agree. Cz i'm just not a family oriented person. I love them. I do. I just get so caught up in life that i tend to forget about the important things sometimes. What i need is a good smack on the head and someone telling me i'm being ignorant again.

Done being nice

2009-10-10T10:09:00.003+08:00

I am good girl. No, seriously. I'm a good girl and a great friend. But i'm done with people taking advantage of me already. I've always believe in "Treat other how you want to be treated" because it's true and makes every sense to me. I've always helped people however i can and expect nothing in return. But i would appreciate if you don't take advantage of me. I helped you, but i got hurt in return. And you just don't give a damn.

If a friend doesn't understand a topic, i spend time teaching them although i don't have much time myself. But i still do it. Because i believe if i can help, i will. I stay up till the early mornings of 5am teaching and coaching someone even though i've got a 9am french exam which i haven study for, the next day. Because i can't sleep knowing someone desperately needs my help. I share every tips and info i know on the exams with people i care hoping they would score well too. I don't keep knowledge to myself. Sharing is caring and i live by it.

But what i hate is, when i don't understand something and i ask a friend, she says she don't know too. There was this english exam back in Taylors and the lecturer gave us 5 possible topics coming up. I didn't understand one so i ask a friend but she said she didn't know as well. But that topic came out during exam (lucky me), and i simply wrote cz i really didn't get what excatly the topic wanted and after the exams, she told me the essay is "Damn easy" cz apprently she knew what to write but is selfish enough to keep it to herself. But guess what? I got the top 3 highest score in the exam and she wasn't even close. I wasn't even there to collect it cz i was spending a day in Genting and she called to tell me. I guess Karma's a bitch right?

But i don't hate her. I just pity her. Pity her for being so selfish. Pity her for having the typical singaporean Kiasu-ness (no offence singaporeans).

Recently, I gave a friend my essay so they can get some ideas cz they were stuck and it was due really soon. And i didn't score well because there was a % of similarity. Come fucking on! If you really want to copy at least change the fucking sentence. Be a little smarter. I didn't spend hours slaving over the essay so you can just copy and be done with it.

And now i'm done being nice already. I'll only be nice if the situation is to my advantage and i know i won't be taken for granted. After all, I'm my first priority.

I am..

2009-10-06T21:30:00.003+08:00

I am..
-Spoiled
-Selfish
-70% taker 30% giver
-Moody
-Impatient
-High maintenance
-Easily pissed off
-Damn hard to control
-Wild at times
-Have high expectations
-Paranoid
-A little insecure
-A complete bitch when things don't go my way
-Easily irritated
-Expect chivalry from the male species
-A big spender

That's a pretty long list of my bad qualities lol and i quote Marilyn Monroe, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best". So give it a good read and think carefully.

Cz some people just don't understand "NO"

Drool worthy head accessories

2009-10-04T19:10:00.005+08:00

I L.O.V.E the spring racing fashion. They dress up like they're going to some fancy ball or costume party when in reality they are going to watch horses race. I think. I love the dresses they wear. And those head accessories! Stylish hats and huge flower headband and that funeral styled black net headband i love so much (I knew i would regret not buying it back in Msia, Damn) Drool-worthy. =)

And not forgetting their exaggerated eyelash like those from Shu Uemura.

Where we meet again at the end

2009-10-02T23:10:00.003+08:00

I can't believe it. My holidays is ending!! Actually it's the weekends d. Means my holidays has ENDED! And i didn't even do any of my assignments except for one cz one of my groupmate kept bugging me so i just typed a 600 words half-essay then email to her haha. My presentations i should be fine when the day to present comes nearer it forces me to concentrate and understand what is the article yakking about. Yes, yakking. Now can't concentrate cz still got one more week to go. What i'm worried bout is Leisure report. Two report sumore and i have to visit Melb Aquarium to do research which btw i haven even bother to look at the website. All i know is the ticket is bout $30 lol. And not to forget my weekly assessments. 13 weeks, at least 10 questions a week, 2 subjects and if my maths is still as good as i think it is, that equals to 260 questions and 26 articles to read. Oh joy!

I just adore degree programs. Especially here. Cz in Taylors, they spoon feed u and hold your hand like a child and guide you through everything. ~~Even~~ especially exams. Where lecturers tell you excatly which chapters are coming out and all you have to do is memorize it. Sigh

Frog Prince? No thanks

2009-09-30T13:37:00.002+08:00

I love watching those trashy Taiwanese dramas. They never fail to disappoint me.

There is always a character which you can hate (a crybaby, a bitch, an evil stepmom). A character who can't act properly (too fake). A stupid character who makes stupid comments and lame ass jokes but still manage to make you laugh. A character which is almost-up-to-standard handsome and you can have a temporary crush on. Oh! And not to forget those moments where the one character is looking for another in a not-so-big place and they just don't seem to see each other while the scene repeats it self again and again (about 6 times) all from different angles. And those oh-so-perfect moments which you know it'll never happen in real life. I mean can u honestly tell me if you slept on a rocky ground overnight and wake up perfectly groomed the next morning? No shit sherlock.

Yeah, i love watching those trashy dramas. Compared to doing my shitloads of assignments la. Who wouldn't? =)

The Ice Queen

2009-09-28T00:30:00.004+08:00

It's super cold and i'm freezing. And they say it's SPRING. Spring for god sake! How can a SPRING night be 9 degrees?? If it's not for those flowers blooming, i would definitely not believe it. It still feels like winter especially at night. And nowadays, it keeps raining. Making it that much colder. I wont be surprised if it suddenly snows. Since it's TOO DAMN COLD.

And all this coldness is making me lazy. And unmotivated to do my shitloads of assignments and presentations (with the amount of assignments i do, the exam better be fucking easy).

Mia nonna

2009-09-22T23:18:00.004+08:00

Mia noona. My mama has such a gentle soul. Like, she's one of the kindest person i've known. I remember when i was younger i sometimes stay over at her house with my sis to accompany her. Sometimes with other cousins as well. And it's be like a sleepover where we all would listen to her telling us stories about her past and my late grandfather (he died when i was 2 or 3). And i'd get the special priority to sleep on the bed with her cz i'm the 'eldest' while all my other cousins sleeps on the floor with the exception that occasionally one of my cousin will join us on the bed. And when those younger cousins fell asleep, me and her would just talk till almost dawn. Cz i know her. I know she has trouble sleeping at night. She like me, is a thinker and worrier. Forever thinking of the past- the what if's and the future-the what would be's. And i'm guessing she's thinking of the past. Cz if im not mistaken she told me once every night she'll think of my grandfather and that thought would lead to so many others thoughts and in the end, she can't sleep.

Then every morning once we wake up we would make the bed and keep the mattress aside. It's the only place where i would make a bed cz i really see no point in making bed as it would still get messed up every night but it's a must in her house so we did it. Then we would have hot milo (or white coffee when i got older) and some biscuits or bread for breakfast. And after breakfast work begins. I think i learn how to sweep and mop floor from her. She insisted to do it every morning and taught me how. And i am 100% sure she taught me how to wash clothes with my own hands and how to use those wash board thingy. Lol

I rmb i used to hate it. I mean who honestly likes doing housework. But then i see she also quite old so i did it to help her, to lessen her burden. And she'll always give me things. Like perfumes (of course not the branded ones la) or expensive branded beauty products (cz she know i'm vain and my aunty always buy too many for her to use or maybe she just dont wanna use so she give me lol).

As much as i love her, i can't help being angry with her when she just let my uncle or father scold her. Sometimes she just quietly take it then come in the room and tell me and try to hold the tears in or she'll scold back but that usually ends up with them scolding her more and she being more sad. That's why i hate my uncle (only a specific uncle, the others are fine). My father is an entirely different story which would be talked when i feel like sharing (and i'm in a selfish mood now). And i would always try to help her to avoid another fight. Petty things like who's coming for dinner and how much shld she cook and all would get her in trouble so she would always ask me to help her ask. Cz she know i wont get scolding. If those fuckers ever dare to scold me i would definitely fuck them up so i've nvr been scolded by any of them before (if im not mistaken la). But seriously, what did she ever do to deserve to be treated like that. Scared to ask a question, getting shout at for a broken glass which im pretty such she didn't notice. She's your fucking mother for god's sake. Not a maid. And don't get me started on another aunty who wants her to live with them so she can help clean the house and cook. I mean come fucking on! Which part of "SHE'S YOUR MOTHER" you don't get.

I know some of my cousins reads this blog and i want you to know i'm not angry to you or anything. I just.. What shld i say? That i'm fucking angry for the way they treat her? Cause i am. I'm fucking pissed that they would treat her like that. But i don't know what i can do to help her. Besides being there so i ask the questions instead of her. And frankly speaking, talking to my father would do her no good. at all. He'll probably think she complained to me and ask me to tell him stop acting this way which would make him more furious at her. Sigh..

When i get back to msia i would go stay with her a few nights. Cause i miss her.

These little flowers brighten up my day =)

I'm addicted to these cute little teddies. Like really addicted.

Funny? NOT so funny people

2009-09-16T21:28:00.005+08:00

Watched Funny People last night. And it was... unbearable. It was funny. Like damn fucking funny. Although 80% of the jokes are sexual jokes but still funny (if u get the jokes la). But the plot is one lousy shit. Seriously, it's long and dragging (2h 30m!! of sexual jokes) and the ending is the worst part. He didn't even get back with the girl! Fuck, i thought Adam Sandler's movies are supposed to be good. I recently watched 50 First Dates (I know, after so long) and it was not bad.

Overall i give this show 5/10. I seriously won't recommend anyone to watch. Unless u like sexual jokes and lousy plots, then this show is made for u. But i think got someone i know will like this show. He/She shall not be named. We wouldn't want to taint this blog now would we? Lol

What makes you laugh?

Edited: Oh god, i should have read the poster before agreeing to watch the movie. The director of "40 yr old virgin" and "Knocked up" is one terrible director. I watched both movies and it was terrible. With a capital T!

Life in the cutting room

2009-09-15T23:23:00.004+08:00

The cutting room floor. Are scattered with so many parts of a movie. People cut out the bad stuffs and show only the good stuffs in movies. That's why u'll find so many interesting thing on the cutting room floor. Things u don't even know happened. Things u'll never expect at all.

Sometime my life is like the cutting room. I edit out the bad parts and only show the good parts. Maybe it's my way of protecting people i love cz it's better if u don't know half the things i do. I'm not joking. Or maybe it's too personal to be showed. Or too ashamed to let people know. But there are a few people who know of the pieces on the cutting room floor but most definitely not all. Maybe just 3 people? And i trust them with my life. The others only know of the edited version of my life. The happier part. The part everyone wants to know. The part where they think i have it so good.

Feeling a lil melodramatic tonight. I need to talk to someone. Not type in msn or email. Talk talk. Face to face. But u're all back in Msia. This is why i miss Msia so god-damned much. Where i can just call someone and talk. And we'll drive around and around for hours well into dawn, just talking. I'll listen to your problems and you'll do the same. And everytime when i leave the car, i feel so much better and know what to do with my life. Cz u guys always know the right things to say to me.

And i've already decided what i want to do for my next tattoo (while i was bathing just now lol). I want to do the number "ONE". Not sure in what language or pattern yet. It's to signify that i'm always my first priority in life and i only deserve the best, no second best anymore.

What do you do when you need someone to talk to?

Only the best

2009-09-15T22:39:00.003+08:00

I tell myself what i want in life. How i want to live it. YOU don't get to fucking decide anything for me. You have to remember you don't fucking own me. I own myself. I don't deserve second best. I only deserve the best. Because fuck! I am Ho fucking Carmen. And i don't need you in my life, ka-pish?

timeless

2009-09-12T20:53:00.002+08:00

Time.

They says time heals all wound. No matter how deep the wound is, time will eventually heal it. But i beg to differ. I believe some wound just don't heal. Maybe it's too deep. Maybe it just won't heal. Or maybe it'll take forever to heal. But i don't have forever to give. The most recent wound happened a few months ago. And till now, every time i think of it, it still brings tears to my eyes. I try not to think of it (I'm the fucking queen of ignoring la pls) but sometimes when i read something or when someone talks about something similar to it, i just can't help but remember about it. And just so you know, i still miss you every single day.

What do you dream when you sleep at night?

Hardworking? definitely!

2009-09-08T16:47:00.004+08:00

I feel like i'm going crazy. I've been slaving (sort of) away on my laptop since saturday. Ok, so it's not entirely slaving cz i was on fb and fanfiction and msn chatting and watching a few episodes of ncis and desperate housewives but still i was doing my 3 essays and i think i've created a new record of how many words i typed in 4 days. Too many words i would say. I really don't think i've typed so many words in less than a week and now, i still got another 2000words essay to write. I'm even skipping classes to finish it. I feel so hard working =)

This is what i get for procasinating. But it's not my fault i only work under pressure. If u tell me the essay is not due for another week, i sure no mood wanna do wan. If no mood how to think right? Which was what i've been doing for the past week. I keep staying back in library supposedly doing my essays but ended up doing other things and not my essay. Sigh..

That's why only in exams i can write a load of crap in less than 2 hours cz i'm forced to. Haha but still, how can the lecturers expect students to hand in 3 essays at the same time in a week?? Lucky OB smart, so his essay we handed in 2 weeks ago. I don't dare to imagine if i got 4 essays to hand in at the same time. I might just jump of a bridge lol

Now on my third and final essay. For this week. Nx week got another essay have to hand in but that wan is only 1200 words so should be easy. I hope! I'm seriously stuck on this topic. It's confusing, well not really confusing la but i don't really get what am suppose to crap about until i reach 2000 words. I knew i should have arrived earlier for my events comp class last week. Damn. I only caught the last part he said which was to include a case study. Best part is? I have no idea about any events in Australia. Which means, more research! Hurray! dont't u just looove research?? Right shin yi?

And yet, here i am, typing more words out. But this is leisure typing. I type cz i feel like it and it gives me a break from seeing the tourism word. I'm sick of seeing that word d. All three essays also about it.

I need a break. I want to watch my tv dramas and movies all day until my eyes hurt and my head spins. I want to read my stories till there isn't anymore nice ones to read. I want to sit with my friends and talk and laugh till my side hurts. I want to just relax and do nothing. And most importantly, I want to drink! I need to drink. My baby has finished! I need a new bottle but it's raining now and im far too lazy to go get one. So there's only this:

Cheers~!

PS: how can i so easily type out 600 words here and barely 200 words in my current essay inc references??

The magical "delete" button

2009-09-05T15:51:00.004+08:00

I find it amazing how people can just delete you from their life. Seriously, just click the DELETE button and it's like they never know you before. Never even heard of you or have anything to to with you before. It's like stuffing you in the deepest darkest corner of their brain where they will never venture.

If you're wondering, no it didn't happen to me. It happened to one of my friend who i shall not name (in case he kills me and thank god he doesn't read this blog). Just that day i found out he and his girlfriend has broken up probably few hours ago and definitely not more then one day. So i was on facebook that time and decided to see her profile and pictures. And guess what? There weren't any more pics of him except for those in a group pictures but no more pics of the both of them together. Not even one. And he was not even in her friend's list anymore. Bad breakup i guess.

But seriously, it's becoming so simple to just delete someone out of your life. After awhile you will start to forget them and in time you who be like "Isaac who???" And no, that's not his real name lol. But i don't delete people out of my life so easily. It'll take me forever to forget someone especially if they are someone important to me. If you're not so important then too bad la. Haha i'm joking. But still, it took me forever to forget someone. Not forget forget. More like to remember he is only a friend now.

So no worries people, i don't just delete you from my life =)
(i prefer to use backspace but then in life there is not backspace button)

Btw, i am in a horror movie mood/ fetish and i'm looking for a good movie to scare me shitless, force me to sleep with the light on and give me a heart attack (so i have a reason for not completing my essays as i would be in the hospital recovering lol). So i googled the horror-est horror movie and downloaded The Exorcist 1973.

They say when it first came out int he cinema, an ambulance has to be stationed at the cinema cz people faint and gets heart attack when they are watching the movie. Fuck, the poster already scared me shitless but i still wanna watch it! Can't wait! But i think i might have to find people to accompany me cz i don't think i would be able to sleep after the movie lol. I hope it doesn't disappoint me though. Oh yeah, for those who likes horror, go play hotel626 it's creepy!

If you want to see the movie poster, scroll down. I don't wanna be the reason why you can't sleep tonight. =)

Scary right? lol
Btw, I would be dissapering for a few days until Tuesday cause i need to finish my god damned essays!!! So if it's not a life of death matter, don't find me! Exceptions are for bffs and family =) I don't mind if you call me at 4am just to talk. Yes, i am that bias =)

I say BI-kini

2009-09-01T15:41:00.004+08:00

Ok, so here i am. Sitting in the uni's library supposedly doing my essays. One which i reason to myself i don't get what the question is saying so i'm gonna ask my lecturer in tute tmr (means can't do anything now). Another one i can't decide which topic to choose. Should i do about Twitter? or the media industry? or the "Best job inthe world" campaign? The last essay i don't even know which region is within Vic so i would have to google it later.

Therefore, i am google-ing bikinis. Cause it's SPRING already! Although it's still cold and sometimes super cold but apprently it's spring. And summer comes after spring. I can almost taste the saltyness of the sea, the glaring heat of the sun (which btw i am not so fond of), the sickly sweet smell of sun tan lotion, the roughness of sand between my toes and god knows where, the coolness of the water when u dive in and the cool feeling of ice cream sliding down your throat. God, i miss the beach!

PS: Rolling in sand is fun but not so fun when the sand gets into your ears and pants lol

when i'm sad i imagine babies are born with mustache

2009-08-29T22:37:00.002+08:00

I. MISS. SHOPPING.

I miss the thrill of shopping. Wandering in the shopping malls seeing if anything caught my eyes. Trying an armful of clothes only to tell the lady all not suitable. Lol Walking till feet hurts and dying to stop at a cafe for smtg 2 drink (actually is to sit only). I seriously can shop from 12pm till night looking for the perfect pair of heels. Which btw i still love so very much now lol

But here? No such luxury la. The shopping mall here so so ni. Not like pyramid (my 2nd home) where u walk till u drop. Or 1u or midvalley. Here 1 hour walk finish d. And nothing interesting. The worst part is, shop closes bout 5 or 6pm and fridays my class ends at 5 so how in the world am i going to shop??!

Australian life here is seriously relax. Too relax i would say. Weekends shop never open also can. Cafe chooses to close on a sunday when usually most people will go. Shops closes at 6pm!! Last shows in cinemas are about 8-9pm. Cafes closes at 10pm. Sometimes i wonder what australians do to entertain themselves at night (Like in redang). But i try not to. Hahaha

I am literally drowning is assignments. Serious shit. Why can't it be like Taylor's where there's only one or two assessments then an exam in the end???? Here I have assignment EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. and i and i'm fuck bored of doing it. Seriously, who can do assignments and readings every week?? There's like 2 or 3 essays, a presentation or two, almost 20 readings, a heap load of weekly assignments and an exam in the end. For ONE subject. You think i no life wan izzit??

I am missing my darling boy =(

Fuck, i can't fuck it

2009-08-23T15:08:00.003+08:00

So i'm suppose 2 be doing my god damned essay which is due sometime this week and all i did was write the essay title, barely understood one journal article (out of 6) and stared at the blank microsoft words page for the past 20mins. Yes, 20 fucking mins. It kinda hurt my eyes too.

And as much as i would like 2 say "Fuck it", i can't! This fucking essay is like 30% of the subject and among 3 essays which i have to write, this is the BEST progress essay. Others i don't even know the title and one i'm not too sure which subject it is. I. Am. Dead. Why can't it be as easy as Taylors?? Where all u do is one assignment and one assessment and one exam!

But not to worry, there's always Jose Cuervo to help me. Although it's useless in completing the essay, it's most useful to keep me from having nervous breakdown.
I'm this close *puts thumb and index finger reeeaaaaalyyy close togahter* to having one.

Pic of my baby:
Though the level has delepted tremendously (like half of it). I can't help it! It stares at me every. single. day.
And in my defence, it does keep me warm. Really warm =)

And i miss my Samsung! Yeah my BB is nice and all but i still ~~like~~ love my Samsung. I miss the thiness of it and the touch screen too. Still thinking whether i should send back Msia anot cz my sis wanna use. But the good thing bout BB is i can watch movie on it! And FB since the cibai uni blocked fb d

Cookies i made. Not a good recipe though i need to find others.

The dog in the house! It's called "stubbles" or "tubbles" or smtg like that. Super friendly and i feed it chocolate chip cookies and potato chips too. Shhhhhh =)

Melodramatic

2009-08-21T22:37:00.003+08:00

Would you prefer to be free as a bird or a fish?

Personally, i prefer to be a bird. I love the flying feeling. To be able to go anywhere i like. There are no borders, no boundaries. I'm free like a bird now. Doing what ever i feel like doing whenever i wanna do it. If it's 1am and i want to drink, i'll walk out to 7-11 to get coke. If i don't wanna go home that night, i'll crash at my friend's house. And my parents won't even know. No need to explain to anyone at all. It's like Ridzuan all over again.

No one to control me here. I'm afraid i'll spiral out of control. Hope not.

Winter is leaving soon. And spring is coming! So the weather is kinda like genting. i *love*. Cz it means that spring is coming and i can wear my Msia clothes! Hurray! It really feels weird wearing so many clothes. I seriously miss wearing shorts and spaghetti strap clothes without a fucking jacket. The amount of times i wore my jeans here is way way more than the total time i wore in msia. Let's face it, i think with one hand u can count how many times i wore jeans. For the past 10 years. Lol

PS: Don't ever attempt to paint your nails after drinking. It's messy.

What makes you fly?

Touch my feathers softly and i'll give you my love

2009-08-17T18:03:00.005+08:00

Fuck. I am fucking bored of eating and sleeping. Seriously. It's sickening to think of what i wanna eat EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Sometimes i wish i can just don't eat. So i don't have 2 think of what i wanna eat. And sleep. Sleep is nice. But i don't know why these days i don't feel like sleeping. It felt a chore 2 me. HOW CAN SLEEP FEEL LIKE A CHORE? Like i MUST do it.
Damn, something's wrong with me again.

Last night i suddenly wanted to go for a jog. At 1am. Probably i got too much pent up energy but no, i didn't went jogging. It's dark and scary and i don't have sport shoes. Hell will freeze over before i jog with slipper in the middle of the night (or should i say early morning) during winter. Nope, I won't spoil my slipper like that LoL

Oh, and i lost my appetite that day. Seriously, i was damn hungry so i went to the kitchen to find food. Then i saw smtg i DON'T EVER wanna see and instantly i lost my appetite. I don't have anything against lesbians. Infact i support same sex marriage but! Please PLEASE keep the P-fucking-DA in the fucking room. A girl-guy and a girl. It's disgusting.
And i would love to keep my lunch in my stomach thankyouverymuch.

Movie update:

Was not bad la. Quite funny. Cz we didn't even know what it was about before buying the ticket. It was the only show with the correct timing i think?

One word: HILARIOUS. Damn cibai funny LoL

Interesting show. They were so cool robbing banks in a few minutes. But the ending so so ni. I previously read a story inspired by this show and it was much better. But any show with Johnny Depp and Cristian Bale is already a nice show. Eye candies =)

Sad. Super sad. I almost cried. But they changed the ending. The other sister didn't die. I rmb in the book, both of them died in the end. That's y i cried when i read the book. But still sad story. If i were the girl, i would beg my parents to kill me. Who would wanna suffer like that for years?

And there's pole dancing classes here! and Burlesque as well. Pole dancing is $220 for 8 weeks course and burlesque is $120 for 8 weeks course. There's latin pole and exotic pole as well.

Ok, i need to work.