Dancing In The Rain

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Mia noona. My mama has such a gentle soul. Like, she's one of the kindest person i've known. I remember when i was younger i sometimes stay over at her house with my sis to accompany her. Sometimes with other cousins as well. And it's be like a sleepover where we all would listen to her telling us stories about her past and my late grandfather (he died when i was 2 or 3). And i'd get the special priority to sleep on the bed with her cz i'm the 'eldest' while all my other cousins sleeps on the floor with the exception that occasionally one of my cousin will join us on the bed. And when those younger cousins fell asleep, me and her would just talk till almost dawn. Cz i know her. I know she has trouble sleeping at night. She like me, is a thinker and worrier. Forever thinking of the past- the what if's and the future-the what would be's. And i'm guessing she's thinking of the past. Cz if im not mistaken she told me once every night she'll think of my grandfather and that thought would lead to so many others thoughts and in the end, she can't sleep.

Then every morning once we wake up we would make the bed and keep the mattress aside. It's the only place where i would make a bed cz i really see no point in making bed as it would still get messed up every night but it's a must in her house so we did it. Then we would have hot milo (or white coffee when i got older) and some biscuits or bread for breakfast. And after breakfast work begins. I think i learn how to sweep and mop floor from her. She insisted to do it every morning and taught me how. And i am 100% sure she taught me how to wash clothes with my own hands and how to use those wash board thingy. Lol

I rmb i used to hate it. I mean who honestly likes doing housework. But then i see she also quite old so i did it to help her, to lessen her burden. And she'll always give me things. Like perfumes (of course not the branded ones la) or expensive branded beauty products (cz she know i'm vain and my aunty always buy too many for her to use or maybe she just dont wanna use so she give me lol).

As much as i love her, i can't help being angry with her when she just let my uncle or father scold her. Sometimes she just quietly take it then come in the room and tell me and try to hold the tears in or she'll scold back but that usually ends up with them scolding her more and she being more sad. That's why i hate my uncle (only a specific uncle, the others are fine). My father is an entirely different story which would be talked when i feel like sharing (and i'm in a selfish mood now). And i would always try to help her to avoid another fight. Petty things like who's coming for dinner and how much shld she cook and all would get her in trouble so she would always ask me to help her ask. Cz she know i wont get scolding. If those fuckers ever dare to scold me i would definitely fuck them up so i've nvr been scolded by any of them before (if im not mistaken la). But seriously, what did she ever do to deserve to be treated like that. Scared to ask a question, getting shout at for a broken glass which im pretty such she didn't notice. She's your fucking mother for god's sake. Not a maid. And don't get me started on another aunty who wants her to live with them so she can help clean the house and cook. I mean come fucking on! Which part of "SHE'S YOUR MOTHER" you don't get.

I know some of my cousins reads this blog and i want you to know i'm not angry to you or anything. I just.. What shld i say? That i'm fucking angry for the way they treat her? Cause i am. I'm fucking pissed that they would treat her like that. But i don't know what i can do to help her. Besides being there so i ask the questions instead of her. And frankly speaking, talking to my father would do her no good. at all. He'll probably think she complained to me and ask me to tell him stop acting this way which would make him more furious at her. Sigh..

When i get back to msia i would go stay with her a few nights. Cause i miss her.

These little flowers brighten up my day =)

I'm addicted to these cute little teddies. Like really addicted.

And she survived.. ;

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