Dancing In The Rain
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Work started again, which explains my absence. Routine of waking up at 3.20am then walking to the hotel at 3.40am (cz it takes me roughly an hour- one of the reason why i'm called turtle) then working non-stop till 1.30pm to finally come home and drop dead. Cz no matter how many times i try i can never sleep at 8pm and wake up at 3am. IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I sleep at 8 then i wake up at 11 feeling like i just took a nap AND I CAN'T GO BACK TO SLEEP till 1am. Which SUCKS. Afternoon shift is so much more normal cz it starts at 2pm. But i only got a few of those cz my manager prefers to put me in the mornings. Damnnn
I told my mom I was planning to go back msia this dec for maybe a month depending on whether i can get an extra 2 weeks off from work and the first thing she said was "You come back do what?". And i was stunned. Cz seriously, i go back msia do what??
What i miss in msia in the company i had. Denise, Shinyi, Selyna, Shirley and a few more friends.
I miss clubbing in msia. Actually i think what i miss is the company i had.
I miss the familarity of the area and people i know.
I miss Tanjung or AC or where ever we usually go yumcha. I miss the idea of yumcha. The feeling of yumcha here is totally different. CZ THERE IS NO LIMAU AIS.
I miss the food. But only sometimes cz.. LONG STORY. (It's for another time and i might not even post it)
I might even miss my family. Actually i do miss them . Is just that when i'm far away, our relationship tend to be better. ALOT BETTER. We don't argue as much as when i'm staying at home. But what i HATE is when i call back, they do talk and ask how am i and shit, then they will complain. My mom will complain bout my dad. And my dad will complain bout my mom and sis. And my sis will complain bout my dad. It's like a fucking circle. With no ending.
I mean seriously. I've been told several times that i'm a good listener. But there is also a certain level of "listening" right? I don't tolerate ppl bitching bout someone close to me or is a good friend. Go bark at someone else thankyouverymuch. Unless the person we're talking bout is someone i dont excatly like also, then i definitely can bitch with u. I'll even curse their great grandchildrens if that makes you happy. But whatever la. I listen and i'll puke every word back out. No point trying to help if they themselves don't wanna change.
Oh! And i realised that my bb is like my main communication system. Cz ppl can reach me through 2 email address (more if i want), facebook, msn, bb messenger and the number it self. Can use twitter and myspace and skype and yahoo messenger and google talk too. But no point installing those cz i only know 3 ppl using skype, no one using myspace, yahoo msg and google talk and ppl hardly ever update their twitter (inc me).
But if you ask me why i dont communicate more with people back home, i got no answer. Or i do. Maybe it's cz i'm not that type of girl who really spends time in communicating and building relationships. Seriously. Ask my past bfs, i think they will say the same. I don't like recieving calls and messages constantly. I get annoyed. I communicate only once a while. And that is with people i really do care about (Like that girl who is gonna airmail COOKIES to me for cny!!! Love you la!).
Or maybe it's cz i believe if we really are great friends, we don't need to constantly communicate with each other. Cz to me, no matter how long we didn't talk, when we do meet each other again, we would fall back into the same comfortable routine we had before. Like it never changed. Still joking, laughing and talking crap. So if I don't call or msg u much, know that i really do think of you. It's just that I'm too lazy to call or msg or msn or fb u. You know me, i'm one lazy bitch =)
It may seems harsh but i really did forget some people back home. I was going through my friends list in fb and i realised i dont know alot of ppl until i clicked their profile and went "Oh.. Is that girl/guy from (the place)" or I'll ask my friend and they'll be like "There, rmb that time we go (the place)? Is that girl/guy la!" Sorry la, but they might be unimportant in my life that's why i dont rmb them. But mostly they are just passing friends. Somewhat like acquaintance where the dictionary define it as "A person known to one but not usually a close friend" So there, i don't feel guilty.
But no worries, I still remember all those who i really do care about =)
And she survived.. ;