Dancing In The Rain
Friday, April 9, 2010
Been reading people's blog. WHEN I AM SUPPOSE TO BE FINISHING MY REPORT. And it seems like 3 out of 5 people are experiencing heartbreak. Read their post and it was all like "I can't live without you" or "I trusted you but this is how u repay me" or "I don't think I will ever heal from this heartache". Those positive ones are "I believe I will heal one day" or "I'll wake up one day smiling again". But when is that one day gonna arrive?
People think I am commitment phobic. That's y I'm flirty and jumps from one guy to another. I'm not. And I don't jump from one guy to another too. I just don't see a reason to trust someone so much especially if it's my heart. It's precious, bitch. I'm sick of opening up myself again and again just to be disappointed again. It's fucking exhausting. I want to be sure that there is something before I open up but that's just wishful thinking.
They say if you don't take chances you'll never know. Jump and someone will catch. But what if that someone missed? Or doesn't catch you like you expect him to? It's easier said than done. I'm someone who needs confirmation. I won't fucking jump unless i'm sure you are waiting for me with open arms. I use to take chances. I was naive an young and trusted people waaay too much. But I've learn. It's either a good thing or bad. Good cz I protect myself so much better than I had in the past. Bad cause I don't trust people or open up as easily as I did. Even if I know u have good intentions.
I once read an article bout "If you could change one thing in the world what would it be". And yeah I agree with the world peace shit and how everyone shld have the same amount of money n all, the one answer that I liked most is that "Everyone should look like Shrek or Fiona. Then when we fall in love, it'll be because of our personality and not how we look on the outside"
But in this world where we live in, no matter what everyone says, people would always get attracted physically before mentally or emotionally. If that someone falls in love with your personality too, then lucky u. If not, then it's either just a physical thing where the both of you are living in denial.
I mean, can u actually tell me that u like that guy cz he is just funny? I'm pretty sure there is just something attractive about him. Maybe it's his long, graceful fingers (I have a thing for beautiful pianist fingers lol) or it's those dreamy eyes or that strong angular jaw with a hint of stubbles or maybe he has a long lean body or a nice round ass (like that chef in Taylors!). Surely there is something that makes you attracted to him. Or else u won't even have an interest to talk. Maybe just a polite small talk but not talk talk.
Like that day, this guy (who I have NO interest in whatsoever), called me and said "Can I speak to Nicole Kidman" if it's someone else, I'll prolly answer "Speaking" just for the fun of it HAHA but then it's him, the annoying guy who annoys me with lame jokes (and it's prolly lame cz I'm not interested in him lol). And all I said was "What?" twice. And got annoyed cz he's acting so lame.
But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm odd. Nah, I don't think it's a maybe. I think I'm pretty odd in a special kind of way =)
And she survived.. ;